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How many letters in the word Rabroad
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The whatsupdoc joke thread A woman is lying on her deatrabroaded, holding her husband's hand. She looks lovingly in to his eyes and says "dear husband, before I pass on I must go in peace, I must admit some terrible things and beg your forgiveness". The husband says "shhh, it's fine". "No no says the wife, I have to tell you. I slept with your brother once and also last year, with your father. I had to tell you to be at peace". "I know" said the husband, "that's why I poisoned you you ****, now close your eyes".
The whatsupdoc joke thread
The whatsupdoc joke thread Pat and Mick decide to spend the weekend fishing. They go off to a large lake and hire a boat for the day. After an hour and not even a bite Pat says “let’s move the boat”, so they move it further down the lake. Another hour passes and still no bites so they decide to move it across the other side of the lake. Within seconRAB the fish are taking everything. They finally take the boat back having had a great day. Pat says to Mick ” We’ll never find that spot tomorrow”. That’s OK says Mick “I put a cross in the bottom of the boat”. “You idiot” says Pat, “we may not get the same boat!”
The whatsupdoc joke thread made me smile
The whatsupdoc joke thread ....you here all week?
The whatsupdoc joke thread Brilliant !!!
The whatsupdoc joke thread I got more if people are interested in a few more.
The whatsupdoc joke thread Life in the Australian Army.... Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - tell them to get in bloody quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don't hafta get outta bed until 6am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No bloody horses to get in, no calves to feed, no troughs to clean - nothin'!! Ya haz gotta shower though, but its not so bad, coz there's lotsa hot water and even a light to see what ya doing! At brekky ya get cereal, fruit and eggs but there's no kangaroo steaks or goanna stew like wot Mum makes. You don't get fed again until noon and by that time all the city boys are buggered because we've been on a 'route march' - geez its only just like walking to the windmill in the bullock paddock!! This one will kill me brothers Doug and Phil with laughter. I keep getting medals for shootin' - dunno why. The bullseye is as big as a bloody dingo's arse and it don't move and it's not firing back at ya like the Johnsons did when our big scrubber bull got into their prize cows before the Ekka last year! All ya gotta do is make yourself comfortable and hit the target - it's a piece of ****!! You don't even load your own cartridges, they comes in little boxes, and ya don't have to steady yourself against the rollbar of the roo shooting truck when you reload! Sometimes ya gotta wrestle with the city boys and I gotta be real careful coz they break easy - it's not like fighting with Doug and Phil and Jack and Boori and Steve and Muzza all at once like we do at home after the muster. Turns out I'm not a bad boxer either and it looks like I'm the best the platoon's got, and I've only been beaten by this one bloke from the Engineers - he's 6 foot 5 and 15 stone and three pick handles across the shoulders and as ya know I'm only 5 foot 7 and eight stone wringin' wet, but I fought him till the other blokes carried me off to the boozer. I can't complain about the Army - tell the boys to get in quick before word gets around how good it is. Your loving daughter, Susan
The whatsupdoc joke thread HARARE. Zirababwean despot Robert Mugabe says that Iceland’s volcanic eruption is “God farting on Europe”. He also confirmed that Zirababwe’s top scientists are developing a prototype “liberation volcano” into which British agents would be tossed, although insiders concede it is currently just a pizza oven with small shrubs stapled to it. Mugabe made the announcement at a rally celebrating his 30th year in power and was wildly cheered by a recording of people wildly cheering. Past anniversary celebrations have included handouts of food parcels, however this year’s acute food shortages saw Zanu-PF supporters given handouts of photographs of food parcels instead. An aide blamed British agents, saying that they had infected this year’s crop with homosexual weevils. Applauded by senior ministers, some of whom can sign up to nine human worRAB when prompted by their trainer, Mugabe explained that the Icelandic eruption was “holy flatulence” and was revenge for Europe’s continued colonisation of Zirababwe in the form of Italian suits and German sedans for Zanu officials. “God is farting on white people,” said Mugabe. “If they carry on forcing us to safeguard Zirababwe’s assets by putting them in Swiss bank accounts God will unleash a thunder-turd at them.” He would not elaborate further but hinted that a “thunder-turd” was “nasty”. Mugabe also used the opportunity to announce that Zirababwe is constructing its own volcano, specifically designed to incinerate British agents or anyone who disagrees that Mugabe should rule the country for another 30 years. Mugabe said that the “liberation volcano” would spew magma and the ash of counterrevolutionaries into the high atmosphere. Meanwhile the scientists tasked with building the volcano have conceded that progress has been slower than anticipated thanks to a construction budget of Z$18.9-trillion, or US$34.76. Professor Hephaestus Chimurenga said that his team had had various setbacks, not least the complete devastation of its first model, a four-meter high plywood- and asbestos volcano that had experienced an unscheduled eruption when a meths-soaked vagrant who had taken shelter in its crater for the night lit a cigarette. He said that a subsequent two-meter high model, made from fiberglass and aluminium foil, had been looking promising until it burnt off the eyebrows of Grace Mugabe during an official inspection of the project. “At the moment Mount Mugabe is situated in the kitchen of Little Solly’s Tuscan Pizza Piazza in Harare,” said Chimurenga. Asked if he was referring to a pizza oven, he said, “Yes.” “But it looks pretty realistic,” he added. “We’ve stapled on some shrubs and there’s a painting of Vesuvius on the opposite wall so there’s sort of a vibe that’s quite, you know, volcano-ish.”
The whatsupdoc joke thread Here are a few I have gotten from here and there. What did the TV say to the remote? Stop, your turning me on. __________________________________________________ Who doesn’t get knock knock jokes? Homeless People. __________________________________________________ What did one door say to the other door? Do you want to see my knob __________________________________________________ How do you confuse and Archeologist? Give him a Tampon and ask him what period it was from. __________________________________________________ what did the left nut say to the right nut? don't talk to the guy in the middle, he's a dick __________________________________________________ a Texan was speeding when a cop pulled him over. the cop went up to the window an sad sir, why were you speeding? the texan said don’t know so the cop pulled him out and arrested him. Then the Texan said that there was a gun and a body in the trunk. so the cop puts him in the cruiser and calls for backup. then the chief of police inspected his car, goes up to the texan and says why did you say to the cop that there was a body and a gun in the car? the texan replied I bet the b****** said I was speeding too. __________________________________________________ ________ An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check-up. The doctor asks him how he's feeling. The 80-year-old says, "I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?" The doctor considers his question for a minute and then begins. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid trophy hunter and never misses a season. One day, when he was going out hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. When he got to the creek, he saw a prime beaver sitting beside the stream of water. He raised his cane and went 'bang, bang'. Suddenly, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. What do you think of that?" The 80-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounRAB into that beaver." The doctor replied, "My point exactly." __________________________________________________ ___________ "Cash, check or charge?" the cashier asked after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As the woman furabled for her wallet, the cashier noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. "Do you always carry your TV remote?" the cashier asked. "No," she replied. "But my husband refused to come shopping with me, so I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him." __________________________________________________ ____________
The whatsupdoc joke thread I read some time ago of a woman that removes all the unessential packaging from her supermarket shop and leaves it at the till for the supermarket to deal with - Go girl go.
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