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"more Christian jokes! " yeh thats cool it could affend people
"more Christian jokes! "
"more Christian jokes! " Ugh, jokes about rape - not funny.
"more Christian jokes! " This isn't really Christian, but I heard it at church... An old woman was leaving a grociery store when the alarm went off. She was quickly found to have been trying to steal a can of peaches. Later that month, in court, she was found guilty and asked by the judge, how many peaches were in the can. The woman replied, "There are normaly about 5." With that the judge sentanced her to 5 years, one for every peach she tried to steal. Then the woman's husband stood up and yelled, "She also stole a can of Peas!"
"more Christian jokes! " A woman and her daughter were sitting in the sanctuary of their church listening to the pastor preach. After a long, slightly boring message, the pastor began to pray. "Lord, without you, we are but dust..." directly after he had said this, the little girl said in a rather loud voice "Mommy, what's butt dust?". Needless to say, the prayer was over.....
"more Christian jokes! " A nun was on her way home to the monastery after running errands in town. All of a sudden, a man jumped on her from behind a bush and raped her. After finishing the job, the rapist wondered what the nun would say upon returning to the monastery. - Well, of course I have to tell the truth, that I was raped twice. - WTF? Twice? - Well... If you want to, said the nun and blushed...
"more Christian jokes! " A woman was at the beach with her children when her four-year-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore, where a sea gull lay dead in the sand. "Mommy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to heaven," the mother replied. Her son thought a moment and then said, "And God threw him back down?"
"more Christian jokes! " One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?" "Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
"more Christian jokes! " A man and a vicar was going hunting. The chap spotted a deer, pulled out his rifle, pulled the trigger, but missed. He cried out: **** I MISSED!! The vicar quickly reminded the man that he shouldn't cuss like that, if he wanted to escape the wrath of God. Okay, 2nd time, 2nd miss: HOLY ****!!! I MISSED, yelled the Hunter. And the Vicar reminded him again. Yeah, yeah, whatever.. 3rd time, 3rd miss, no deer. Frustrated, the man cried out loud: HOLY MOTHER****ER, I missed!! Sound of thunder from above.. Lightning strikes down on the Priest and kills him. Then a voice from up above: **** I MISSED!!!
"more Christian jokes! " Actually thank you for posting TOP TEN SIGNS YOU MAY NOT BE READING YOUR BIBLE ENOUGH: 10) The Preacher announces the sermon is from Galatians ... and you check the table of contents. 9) You think Abraham, Isaac & Jacob may have had a few hit songs during the 60's. 8) You open to the Gospel of Luke and a WWII Savings Bond falls out. 7) Your favorite Old Testament Patriarch is Hercules. 6) A small family of woodchucks has taken up residence in the Psalms of your Bible. 5) You become frustrated because Charlton Heston isn't listed in either the Concordance or the Table of Contents. 4) Catching the kids reading the Song of Solomon, you demand: "Who gave you this stuff?" 3) You think the Minor Prophets worked in the quarries. 2) You keep falling for it every time when Pastor tells you to turn to First Condominiums. And the number one sign you may not be reading your Bible enough: 1) The kids keep asking too many questions about your usual bedtime story: "Jonah the Shepherd Boy and His Ark of Many Colors." found on http://com4.runboard.com/blifetheuniverseandeverything3.fmainchat.t54
"more Christian jokes! " On their way to get married, a young couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The engaged youngsters find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they began to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter showed up, they asked him. St. Peter says, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sat and waited for an answer. . for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to get married in Heaven, SHOULD they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together FOREVER?" After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informs the couple, "you CAN get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!!" St. Peter shouts, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer? found on http://com4.runboard.com/bashaftofwit.fjokesandfunnies.t654
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