Brutalized by V200. Need a phone to love me tender!

Seriously, I'm in a bad relationship with a Motorola V220. It creaks like a whaling ship and hisses like a basketful of cobras. I don't hear very well, so I really need a phone with superior sound quality and high volume. Talking to someone on my V220 is like talking to a mummy encased in amber and stuffed in a large padded duffle bag. Here's a transcript of my typical conversation:

"Ssss. Pop. Gurrg rmmm gluh?"
"Sorry, what?"
"Ssss. Pop. Gurrg rmmm gluh? Gluh?"
"Man, this phone...I can't hear you. One more time please?"
...[A brief pause while my V220 drops the call and I re-dial]...
"Ssss. Pop. Gurrg rmmm!!!"
"I'm very sorry. I simply can't hear what you're saying. My volume's all the way up!"
"Ssss. Pop. YOUR PHONE SUCKS! Click."

So here's what I want to do. I want to rip the SIM card out of my V220 and put it in a phone with the following characteristics:
1. It has to be a candybar or maybe a slider. No more creaky hinges on craptastic flip phones.
2. It needs to have some real volume so I can actually hear who I'm talking to.
3. A speakerphone--a good one.
4. Bluetooth, so maybe I can try a wireless earpiece to better deal with my poor hearing.
5. I'd like something that doesn't look like a Fisher-Price toy or a chrome-and-jelly sexual aid too, please. Something clean, well-designed, and dare I say elegant?
6. I don't talk a ton, so I'm not terribly concerned about battery life. I also don't text a whole lot, and don't care too much about size.

Now here's the kicker. I'd like to not spend a ton of money. I'd be very happy if I could find an unlocked phone (I have Cingular, by the way, so that'd be okay) with the features I've listed for maybe 150 bucks. I might be able to fast for a couple of weeks and go as high as 200 if y'all convince me you've got a phone in mind that I can have a real long-term relationship with. I've seen phones at sites like celluloco in that range with my required feature set, but I just don't know enough to make a smart choice. So please, set me up with some hot young cell phone who's loud, rowdy, and ready to settle down with a big fat half-deaf freak of nature!

Thanks in advance for any advice.
Best,
P