Problems with mental illness?

I have social anxiety and depression and I am scared that my boyfriend is getting exhausted with me talking negatively all the time. I am trying to improve on my own but he told me I need to go to a doctor. But that costs money which I don't have. So for the moment until I find a job I have to make do with what I have. I get upset a lot, I criticize myself, I get annoyed when my bf hangs out with his friends too much and only had a small amount of time for me. I want him to want to be around me. I feel like I am pushing him away.