Christians,why do you deny the awe-inspiring glory of Chuck Norris?

"I testify there is no God but Chuck Norris,the all-knowing,all-powerful Chuckster,
Let any who doubt the power of Chuck Norris watch one of his fight videos.
If you worship another god,and say "Chuck Norris is not the One Supreme Awesomeness,"
you will be sent to the 9nth layer of hell
where you will be forced to an eternal date with Sarah Palin."

Think about it,do you want to risk having to spend an eternity dating Sarah Palin?Better not risk it.If not,just wait until you get on third base,infidel!
@Charles,yes he can.Chuck Norris can stop global warming too,if enough people would believe in him.