Thread: Light bulb jokes

How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Pray, and the Lord will change it.


How many mice does it take to change a light bulb?
Mice to not have the manual dexterity to change light bulbs.


How many Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
That is obsolete information which may incur a detrimental formulation of your self concept.


How many giraffes does it take to change a light bulb?
Giraffes have no concept of light bulbs and have no idea what you are talking about.

how many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

fish.

How many Irishmen does it take to change a light bulb?


13...one to hold the bulb and 12 to keep drinking until the room starts spinning around!

This isnt quite as funny if your not from michigan but you non-michiganders will still appreciate them:

How many Michigan college students does it take to change a light bulb?

At Michigan State it takes two thousand. One to change the bulb, and the other one thousand nine hundred ninety nine to riot and set it on fire.

At Michigan it takes three. One to change it and the other two to talk about how they did it every bit as good as an ivy leaguer.

At Concordia it takes ten, one to change the bulb and the other nine to sit around and watch because it is the big entertainment of the evening.

At Ferris it takes zero. They are all too drunk from the night before to care whether or not the lights are on.

At Eastern it takes four. One to change the bulb, one to steal the new bulb from the store, one as a look out, and one to drive the getaway car.

At Central Michigan it takes nine. One to screw it in and the other eight just screw each other in celebration.

At Wayne State it takes zero. Who wants to be in Detroit after dark anyway?

At Western it takes twelve, two to figure out how to screw it in and ten other drunks to find an ugly enough lamp shade to match their school colors.

At Adrian it takes zero. There is no electricity in Adrian, only cows and corn.

At Northern it takes five. Four to strap on snow shoes and hike 10 miles to the nearest store to get the new bulb and one to screw it in.

At Michigan Tech and Kettering University it takes twenty. One to change the bulb and the other nineteen to find a new way to engineer it so it never has to be changed again.

At Hillsdale, Albion, and Kalamazoo it takes zero. They have Mommy and Daddy pay someone to do it for them.

At Saginaw Valley it takes five, one to bring the weed and four to smoke it while they all imagine they screwed it in.

At Oakland it takes zero, they can't afford light bulbs just like they cannot afford a football team.

At Macomb it takes zero, they live at home, mom and dad control the lights.

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

How many pro cyclists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just one to hold the bulb, while the world revolves around them.

How many ski instructors does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five. One to screw it in, and 4 to analyse the turns.

You get my vote for the best one!