Computer School Snippets

[Tayble]

#39: Let Them Die Slowly
Teacher: OK, there's way too many people talking and shooting the answers to each other whenever I go to someone to answer his question. This is a FINAL exam and you're NOT supposed to be talking. This is too bad but from now on, I won't answer any question, no matter what it is.
Idiotess: Ma'am! Ma'am! Can you help me? My program doesn't work!
Teacher: ...That's your problem, you have to figure it out.
Idiotess: But it doesn't work!
Teacher: I can't help you.
Idiotess: But it won't compile!
Teacher: I can't help you!
Idiotess: It's giving me errors ma'am! It won't run!!
Teacher: Figure it out yourself! That's the point of an exam! It's open book! Use it!
Idiotess: Not fair...

[Zaiquiri]

Well, the semester has ended. I type this as I enjoy a nice, cold Doomsday beer and reflect upon this last, quality snippet:

#40: The Final Hurrah
In a mini-test, one of the questions were as follows:

In the Event Viewer menu of the management console, which journal contains an audit of successes and failures?

• Journal of Applications
• Journal of Security
• Journal of System
• Journal of Montreal

The "Journal of Montreal" (better translated as Montreal's Newspaper) is a popular and well-known newspaper in the city.

Well, guess what.

As I met the teacher just before the final exam, I learned that someone in the class really did answer The Journal of Montreal.

Teacher: Wow, and I told you it was gonna happen too!
Me: Imagine that, a column in the newspaper everytime someone puts down a wrong password.
Teacher: All right. You ready for this waste of time called a final exam?
Me: You bet.
Teacher: Cool, here it is. See you in 30 minutes!

[PanicSuiteheart]

BONUS #1! A Descriptive Problem
We're setting up a MS Access database...
Idiotess: Sir... Sir! The test box "Description" in design mode... you put the data in there, right??

[3dogs]

OMG it's worse that trying to teach my father in law to start a computer.

Me: Now you have to move the mouse
HIm: Mouse? Thats the little arrow no?

[Pinkie43]

BONUS #2! A Time Problem
Teacher: Now that most people are here (and not the week before), I'll restate the modalities of this class. You have to do your work to pass this class. You have to arrive on time!
Idiotess: B-b-but sir!! It's summer! Can't we come in later?
Teacher: Noooo!

Ironically, on my way up to the class floor for the first hour, I saw most of the class hanging out and playing baby-foot in the student lounge.