Thread: Mother-N-Law is driving me nuts, what do I do?

Me and my husband is expecting a little girl next month and we live with is parents, because they need someone to take care of them.
My mother-n-law always has a problem with me and my husband buying things, such as food, clothes, shoes, ETC ETC... When we come in the house we would hide the things that we bought.

A couple of our good friends threw us a baby shower a couple of weeks ago and we got a bunch of wonderful things. The first thing that my mother-n-law did was that she gave us that mean pissed off look, and she started talking and saying how were wasting money. Me and my husband just act like we didn't hear anything and just started to put everything away. We did not get certain things from the babyshower, and with the baby due next month we went out and got some stuff on our own. Right when we walk in the house she went off on us...she started saying stuff about me, about how I like to spend money. I started crying so hard and I just couldn't stop!!

Me and my husband do not get along with his sister who has 2 kids. When she buys things for them her mom is all excited and she also go out and buy things for them. His sister would come over and do laundry and her mom would be "Oh is that new" or "how cute is that"
But when I took my baby clothes to be wash she starts saying how she does not need so much clothes.

I do not know how things will be when our daughter is here! Do we need to hide things when we walk in the house? I don't understand why she has to be like this.

We are going to move out by next year because my husband cannot take it no more! He said that his parents favor his sister over him... that is why she is like that to us!

One more things, his mom was okay with me once but his sister just wanted to change things around and start problems with me.

Thanks you guys so much for reading! I just couldn't take it anymore and just need to let some steam out..
The thing with my mother n law is that she loves money!! she knows when we get pay and that is the only time she is kind to us!
my husband is sick and tired of the way things are going. Believe it not I DO NOT say anything back to her, I respect my elders. She is rude and calls me name my own mother never calls me but she is still my mother in law and my daughters grandmother!
Me and my husband got kicked out 2 times already, but for some reason we feel bad that they have no one to take care of them. His sister move to Miami to live with her bf family. When she was living here they never call her to ask her to do anything. His parents would say "oh she has a family to take care of"
I don't get it either!! LOL

You guys need to get your own place, and your in-laws need to get home-health care.

Find a place close by, but get your own home. Your husband and sister can do the drop-ins to help them on a daily basis.

It doesn't sound like your life, or your children's life is going to be healthy or happy living like that.

Do what we did and go off and start your own little family unit without any of them involved at all, she sounds mean and nasty, do you want her messing with your little girls head? oh XXX (sisters kid) is so pretty, why can't you be like her?...I know just how that one goes. Stupid relatives. Stay strong, be the first generation in the family that are not messed up and mean.

Seriously, my son didn't get any grandparents, but he also didn't get anyone that is going to make him feel bad or worthless or stupid. Some people just can't help themselves.

babies do grow out of clothes fast so its not appropiate to buy like 500 6 month size outfits for example. you can go to thrift stores and save money that way to show mom in law that you can be frugal

it doesn't mean you love baby any less if they dont have every single thing that you think you need most of it will get given or thrown away anyways

maybe she won't feel as bad if you get her involved tap into her wisdom instead of fighting her see where she is coming from

im not saying let her run your life just get her perspective on things
may make her alot easier to live with

I think it is important not to make your husband's relationship with his mom worse. In your situation, the son-mother relationship is a bit shaky already, the best position you can take is to be supportive of your husband's decision on how to deal with his mom. And let your husband defend you against his mother-- instead of you waging an all-out confrontation/war with her yourself.

Try to take care of yourself and your baby. Brush off what she says- in one ear, out the other. Just hang in there. You'll be moving out soon and would have to interact with her less.

But do try to keep some respect, love and kindness in the family. They might be just getting really old and scared.

Hope things get better.

Move out now. Don't wait. even if you are broke and starving - just make sure your child has what he/she needs. It's not worth the misery. Trust me. Your child will sense the conflict and tension in the family and will not be easy to deal with - then you will be dealing with fussy baby and annoying in-law.
If there is ANY way. Move. Get on your husband to lay the smack down - it's HIS mother - you are HIS wife - it is HIS responsibility to stand up for you.
If she's so caring and compassionate about sister - maybe sister and her kids should move it. You stated she needed "taking care of" - maybe she needs a HOME. Better yet - how about the THREAT of a putting her in some sort of home? Might smarten her up LOL - or she'll kick you out.

As for respecting your elders - I agree to a point - but there comes a time when you need to stand up for yourself.