I am heavily delusional I think. A few years ago I felt I was a sociopath and tried to become one by studied the balncing nature of a sociopath. Then I manipulated people in public and was successful, and I was apathetic to. But to my family members, I wanted them to know I was insane, as if for attention gain, and if they would say I was just normal I would go out in angry outbursts or I would do something to make them think I was even more insane. And when they would continue to think the way they do, I would become heavily violent and try to beat them up, I can feel the anger rush up inside me and I attack the person. But recently, I have noticed that it was probibly just a typical stage/part of being a teenager because I was beginning to grow feelings for other people, but mentally, I didn't want this to happen. I kept forcing myself to try and become more like a sociopath/psychopath, It is a HEAVY obsession that I don't think I can break. I'm home schooled and I'm alone 80% of the time and I think that is what sparked my delusional episodes. I have been obsessing over it for a full year now and I'm 17 now. What could I be suffering from and how can I get help if I just wake up the next morning and just change my mind at getting help. I also have an obsessing desire to keep my life secret and become ENRAGED when people think they know me and try to exploit who I truly am. What could I be suffering from?