Isolation and loneliness at work

**Fuzzy Hat** · 10-01-2010, 01:22 PM

HI, Newbie here, so not sure where this should go... I have been moved from a populated area at work to a desk far removed and by myself. I have been at this job going on two years, off to a bad start until last summer. People at work avoid me, don't acknowledge my presence and seem to look at me as if I had some horrible contagious disease. I am bipolar and think perhaps I'm reading too much into this, but even at the holiday party and other office functions co-workers make small talk and then leave me standing pretty quickly after that. I'm a nice person and don't understand what I might be projecting to them. There is a great age difference: I'm 49 and the rest are younger (most in their 20's), even my boss. I don't look my age but that really shouldn't matter. It's very hard for me to socialize when I know that rejection is around the corner. The net result is that I virtually have no friends at work that I would hang out with...I'm lonely and isolated and I have heard people whispering about me saying that "nobody talks to him". People talk to me when I address them, but it's never reciprocated. I just don't understand why. Any insight or advice? I like my job and don't consider quitting. Am I being overly sensitive?

**Peace Love Me** · 10-02-2010, 02:02 AM

Your probably more serious about your job than they are and they know it. Sometimes people don't speak to me when I first start a job because they sense I am a serious person but after they get to know me then it is ok. Perhaps they just don't know you and as some advise "light teasing will get you every where". Also the age difference sometimes plays into it. Have you ever tried going to the smoking area? Even if you don't smoke still go there for a chat. I have found many friends in the smoking area of a work place.

Cheers!

**freepetrhyme** · 10-02-2010, 03:41 PM

Hi, thanks for the reply. I am in California so most people don't smoke. I know of one other person at the firm who I haven't actually seen in quite a long time. We're on the 29th floor and have to leave the building...which is nice to get a break. It's true, these people just don't know me, plain and simple. My approach is what I think scares them away. I'm pretty direct. Then I get worried that I'm weird and they want to avoid me. I guess I'm just too serious as I'm all work and no play at the office. I just don't know what to say to get a response that would lead to other moments of having some fun with everyone. I'll keep trying. Thanks again.

**MiiSS B3CK3Y C33** · 10-02-2010, 04:35 PM

Dude when someone likes to do their work their manager/supervisor usually goes and commends them... wtf is wrong with your firm/company?

If you really feel you'll never get out of this cycle, get AIM and talk to us at work if you can.

Some might also know you're bipolar and are afraid. Some people get afraid of me when they find out I'm bipolar too. Do you play video games?

**susan n** · 10-03-2010, 08:01 AM

Perhaps wearing a funny but tasteful tie will get you some comments. Or ask your supervisor or manger if you can help in activities that the company participates in.
I have never had a problem as an adult at work making friends. However, there is always the ones that think there too good to talk to you or the backwards ones who are wierd and i don't care about them....I bet there are some people right at your work place that feel the same way you do..
As a tip...always look someone directly in the eyes and smile warmly. Pay attention to what people say as if your hanging on every word. Hope my female bonding tips works for you.