I am 24 .

_My mother died to motor neuron disorder when i was 9.
-had a 3 year old brother to take care of.
-emotionally neglected and ignored by everyone.
-my brother was the centre of attention.
-never got good food to eat because there was noone to cook at my house
-my father got my uncles mistress to cook for us when i was 15
-she was really rude to me and my brother
-made false accusations on us
-my father supported her and not me when i tried to tell him
-my uncle and his mistress both made a fool out of my dad by giving him misleading info
-i used to cry myself to sleep, and started hating my dad more than anything in this wordl, wanted to run away or kill myself.
-all the stress made me have lot acne on my face and pigmentation too.
-i knew nobody loves me.
-then i had a bf when i was 19 and he abused me, said lot of bad things about me and my physical appearance.
-wasted 6 years of my youth that i would have spent in my higher education, cause it was hard for me to go on a day without feeling absolutely miserable and feeling that everybody hates me.
-i started hating my self, pain felt good to me, crying felt good, cutting felt good, i got addicted to pain.
-tried killing myself by consuming 55 sleeping pills but i am still sitting alive somehow.


I am 24 now, and i have never had a bf and i dont think i ever will cause i dont know how to behave in a a relation, i am scared of all these things, relationships and all.the thought of them suffocates me. I have restarted my studies and gotten over everything that had happened with me,.

People ask me why dont i have a bf cause i am considered "HOT' but i dont know what to say to them.

Was i right to cry for all this?