I have only just realised that I don't really know them as I seldom see them because they live a few hours away. I see my brother once every six months. Now he's invited himself to stay with me and I feel totally depressed that he drinks every night, says racist things, and is quite arrogant about a lot. I wish he never stayed so I had the vision in my mind of a person who wasn't like that. How can I mend this relationship? I can see us drifting away. He expects me to be into drinking and partying but I'm 34 and just like reading or writing. Perhaps he also has a vision of me that's wrong.