So me and and the guy I'm in love with recently started this thing. The reason I fell in love with him is because he was one of my best friends and he was always really sweet to me. I've never had a boyfriend before because I was almost raped when I was eleven, and am terrified of most men because of it. All the happiness I've felt my entire life can't add up to the happiness I feel right with him. The problem is, he's really, really, really, REALLY kinky. As in, like, handcuffs, ropes, beating or whatever its called, and heres the really gross stuff: peeing on me. He always wants to have a threesome. We haven't done anything yet, but we're going to soon. He knows that I really love him and that I want my first time to be romantic and sweet, and he understands that. I can deal with the handcuffs and the ropes, but the beating, the peeing, and the threesomes? I'm sure as hell not going to do the threesome, and I told him that, but I think I just might be able to handle the other things, even if they are really weird/disgusting/unsanitary. My friend, who dated him, is pretty sure he's into bestiality, but he says he isn't, and he's never lied to me before. He's a pretty blunt/honest person. It's really hard for me to deny him anything. Whenever he looks at me or asks me for something, I just automatically say, "Of course, whatever you want". I don't even think about it, I just say it instinctively. His reaction when I told him "no threesomes and no orgies" was, "no girls?". This makes me feel like I'm not enough for him, like I'm not enough to satisfy him. I've decided that I'm going to tell him that I'm not going to have sex with him unless he decides that I'm enough. I really and truly love him, though, and he's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with (not going to tell him that, though. Not unless I know that he feels the same way about me).

The main problem? My guy is extremely, abnormally kinky. I'm a hopeless romantic, and not even slightly kinky. I want to give him everything and turn him on as much as I possibly can. I know for a fact that I can turn him on, but I still feel like I'm not enough for him. He really cares for me as a person, so don't think that he doesn't; he's proven this to me many, many times, without even saying it. I never expected someone so sweet and kind to be so insanely kinky. It just never occured to me. I don't know how to handle it. Can someone please help me out?