Until last summer, I was pretty inexperienced in the love and sex field. I'd had boyfriends and stuff, but they were all not serious at all and we I always found myself not really liking them anymore after dating them for a short time. Finally, last summer I became close with a guy who I really really liked. I'm not sure if it'd be considered true love or anything like that, but my feelings of love were all relative at least. He was the most I'd ever cared about a guy and I was so happy with him. Unfortunately, although our happy little relationship lasted all summer, he had to leave at the end of August for college. Although when it all started I knew what I was getting myself into, I think that still really screwed me up. I was depressed for days after he left and when I got over it, it was time for school again. This one guy who I've always been friends with started showing some interest in me, and I think because of that big, gaping hole the last guy left, and before I knew it I was hooking up with him. Suddenly, I found myself going a psycho and hooking up with different guys left and right. I even went so far as to participate in an orgy once. Finally, after my reputation was killed and most of my friends were disgusted by me, I realized what shit I was putting myself through. Even though it felt nice to be loved for just one night, it wasn't worth the dirtiness I felt about myself afterward. I was so disgusted and decided to change, to stop this craziness and become my old self again. The guy from summer came back to visit after a couple of weeks and told me he'd heard about everything going on with me back at home, which made me feel terrible even though he said he didn't care. We proceeded to hook up, but that I wasn't grossed out with because I really do care about him. But I don't know what to do now, everyone at my school thinks I'm a slut now and I hate it. I barely have any true friends and I want to change. I've changed already actually, but I don't know how to prove it. And also, I don't know what to do about the guy I actually care about. He's coming back again for Christmas and I don't know if I should keep this "thing" going with him or just break it off entirely. Please give me your thoughts. Thank you in advance and sorry for this lengthy description.