My wife is just going to be crabby and full of excuses no matter what I do. In past years I'd try and help around the house, clean, write some Christmas cards, play with the kids. But as the years went by I noticed that my wife never had any affection no matter what I did. So why should I bother? I can take care of the kids but beyond that, who cares about Christmas. She can make her own meatballs, and clean up, and wrap all the presents.

I even splurged and got her some $4 earrings off of Ebay and a few bottles of fancy bottled water from the grocery store. It's all she needs. I could give her a diamond necklace and it still wouldn't lead to any intimacy.