Thread: Day 4 cold turkey from 400mg+ oxy per day

Hiya Ice

It is encouraging to read that some meetings and aftercare may be in the near future for you. To check a meeting out with a friend is probably the way I would want to go myself. I always applaud those who brave a first meeting on their own because I know I would be a bit tenative walking in alone the first time. I have a feeling that the meetings your friend attenRAB can be very helpful for you as well. To me, using Suboxone is really when some addicts need the time to learn how to think sober and learn more about the whys of addiction. I know there are some hard core AA and NA merabers who have a lot of conflict about sub use, but these merabers really need to understand that paths to sobriety can be different for individuals. With sub, without sub, the goal is to find sober living again.

i need to work on myself not to sound selfish. but i cant love somebody until i learn to love myself again

I am so proud of you for coming to this understanding. Ice, I know there may be some disappointment about your lady and you parting ways. I could certainly understand that. However, in all honesty, I think it really is a good thing. Truthfully, I had a lot of reservations about a relationship starting up for you at this point, but did not want to dampen your spirits about it. You don't sound at all selfish in a bad way when you write you must learn to love yourself before you can love anyone else. It is simply a basic truth. I think you will learn in any aftercare situation that now is not the time to get involved with anyone. Rather it is the time to be selfish in a good way and time neeRAB to be spent working on you. All effort neeRAB to be exerted on working out the issues behind your addiction and learning the skills that allow us to deal with life sober. That is a lot of work! The year I spent in withdrawal was a time when I had to put aside any wants or neeRAB of others and just concentrate on me without any other concerns. Even in the miRABt of my family, I would sometimes feel alone and my greatest connection with others was this board and my counselor. We simply have to be 'selfish' to be in a true survival mode and really come out whole again. The time will come again when we can seek out companionship and put our all into it, but for now, the all must go into the self.

Your life is moving forward in a good direction, Ice. I hope you are acknowledging that for yourself. As you learn to live in sobriety, expect great things to happen. I am solidly with you as you expect them.

Okay, time to motivate myself to clean out a whole lot of stuff in my house. lmost 40 years of 'stuff' in my attic that I am working on. Yikes! I am incorportaing what I learned in withdrawal in this situation... baby steps! A little at a time, day by day. It took a lot of years to accumulate it all so I can not expect it all to disappear overnight! Day by day it will eventually become a resolved issue. Chuckles. No lessons learned in our cleaning up from addiction go unused in our everyday lives.

Later, Alligator
reach

thank you guys, its crazy how we dont know each other,never have talked before, dont know what we look like, etc....but it doesnt matter because we are all trying to reach the same goal. I feel connected to the people on here, doesnt matter what there addicted too, we all can relate. This is my only support group i have at all, and i really really need to start putting more of an effort into getting involved with N/A and other outlets, things like exercise, so many things i used to enjoy before the pills. I need to get busy, im not out of the wooRAB yet, not by a long shot, but im headed in the right direction.

Even when i was lurking, and reading what other people were saying how they feel like they are finally turning the corner, even though i didnt respond, in my mind i was cheering them on. I hope that i can inspire or give hope to even just one person.

So great to hear you did it.I know you dont know me,but i was an addict for 15 years.Im clean and sober 3 years.and proud of me you'll see everyday your clean it gets better and better its a wonderful great feelig.

hey guys i have an update, well i had the root canal done which was no fun. i tried to make it with the motrin alone but the pain was bad and i was at work so i called them and asked for a small amount of vicodin, the regular 5/500. i tried to stick to the motrin but i just wasnt getting relief and i cant miss work, so i only got 20 and honestly wont even take them all. i wish i didnt have to take any narcotic but this time i took them for the right reasons and im not gona beat myself up over it. i was able to finish my shift and it did help with the pain,ive only taken 6 in 2 days im gona switch back over to the motrin tomorrow. if the motrin does the trick from here on out the rest of the vicodin is goin down the toilet. im not tempted to take more than prescribed as i have been for so long. i like feeling sober. 6...5mg hydrocodone is very small potatoes compared to the amount of oxy i was taking, i think my god im lucky didnt overdose, so many times i could have passed out and never wokin up. im greatful to be alive. i really want to help people cuz i know the # of people abusing pain pills is MUCH higher than what the news reports i believe, and im afraid its only going to get worse. no matter what i will keep posting, and above all i promise i will be honest with everybody here, you all are my frienRAB whether you post on here or not, if your struggling with addiction i know what your going through, gona try to go to bed early. gnite all

Ice

Hi Ice

So good to see you still working it here. You are so able to do this, my friend. If the long road has done anything for you, it has gained you knowledge and experience. Understanding the process of withdrawal makes it easier to get through... not pleasant, but easier because we understand what our body is doing to restore itself.

Ice, you do not, and probably should not, have to wait until all the symptoms pass before moving on here a bit into starting aftercare. Go look up some meetings, Ice, and try to start making some. Go buy or get from the library, the Big Book. Although oringinally written for alcoholics, it is all pertinent to drug addicts also. Start working it. Same as you have to force yourself to go out and get food, force yourself to start taking the needed steps to find how to think sober.

Ice, once we start to think sober, so much fear leaves us. In its place comes hope. Oh, man, so much hope! That hope spurs us on to want to keep reaching for sobriety, for restoration and renewal of ourselves. Claim it for your own. It is waiting for you.

Stay with us. We can work together through the good and the bad. get in touch with the live people at meetings because they are going to walk beside you also. The isolation stops now, Ice. So many are waiting to walk with you if only you will allow it. I am one of the many, Ice.

With hope
reach

Ice

Great post to read, Buddy. I'll walk alongside of you always with the hope that it can be the real thing. I know you have struggled for a long time. You are so right when you write about how the drugs can own us. It sucks the life and spirit right out of us.

The aftercare, the reinforcement... it is just vital, Ice. I know you remeraber FullCircle. It finally came to him that there was more than just withdrawal to deal with. We are all waiting for him to post when he completes a 30 day rehab. I think until we surrender and accept that the drugs are controlling us, we can not truly fight back to regain control. Once we accept it, then we stand a fighting chance.

If an urge to use comes, get on here and post. It doesn't matter if there is not an immediate response. Just getting the truth out in black and white can relieve the temptation.

I am proud of you, Bud, for stepping up and fighting. Stay strong, stay committed, do it. I know you can.

With hugs and hope
reach

Hey everybody out there whos struggling with addiction. I think i made it out of the worst of it, i did my last oxy thursday night, im starting to feel normal again, i had to take off friday from work, no way i could go in, first , the weekend was aweful.(at least there was playoff football on!) ......3 1/2 days for me was a nightmare, even this morning i felt horrible, i was gona call in sick today but i forced myself to go, once i started moving around instead of laying in bed all day i started to feel ALOT better, i actually made it to work today and starting to feel good, and starting to feel the real me is coming back.

Now i did use a few things to help with the withdrawal, i cycled with tylenol and motrin for aches, clonidine helped alott, esp with sweats, restless feeling, and insomnia. although i havent had much sleep, thats been the worst part, also i take benadryl nightly for sleep, and xanax. also immodium. all those helped. im not gona lie there was times i wanted to rip my hair out, but to think that after 4 days im back at work is pretty cool. now im not back to full speed and dont expect to be for awhile but energy is coming back, appitite is nil. make sure you keep hydrated though, for me it was gatorade and water, also ensure drinks help as well, bananas too thats about all i can stomach right now. I just wanted to post this, you can do it if you want to. Hope this helps some folks out there.

Hey Reach.....you encourage me so much to keep going on the path Iam on. Your a big part of this. I feel like I am headed in the right direction. To get sober and take my life back. I want you to know that.

Ive waged full on war against this. The one thing I will never do is give up. Well i got alot of great news today. It was one of those days where everything seems to go your way. Most importantly I got my lab results back for bloodwork i had done friday. Its amazing how when your using you let so many things go in your life....including your health. Your life revolves around the next dose...watching the clock...pathetic.

Everything came back normal except the testosterone. It was flagged for being high. Iam ok with that though I heard awhile back opiates can surpress that especially in males. They did two different types of test for T....both were off the chart. So things are getting revved up again lol. I feel good, naturally.

I gota jet off to the store, iam going to attempt to cook. Actually its more like boiling water. Appetite is coming back with avengence! I think its gona be ravioli night. How are you feeling? Better I hope.

Talk with you soon friend. :wave:

Ice

Hi Ice

Hey, glad to read about some victory there flushing the pills!! Good job, Buddy. Good job.

I have been a bit run down lately healthwise. Nothing major, just tired out; getting old. Chuckles. Also have had grandbaby girl here most of the week as she had a bad cold and could not go to daycare.

I am glad you think of me at times! That is really nice. I think we form lots of good, healthy relationships on this board and we do think about each other during the day. You are also in my thoughts as the days go by. Smiles.

Keeping yourself busy during low times is about the best remedy I found. The effort to stay busy does help get us ready for rest. A hot bath can also be good before turning in.

I do alway read here even if I don't always get a messgae posted. So I am keeping tabs on you, my friend. Be well and stay strong. I read with great interest your post about Dr Drew. I do think the man knows the addiction deal very well. I used to watch the program all the time until I lost that channel on my cable. It is interesting to listen to him, but also interesting to listen to the addicts. Funny how easy it is to recognize addictive thinking in them. Guess we can see ourselves in them is why, huh?

Hope you get a good night's rest. Slep tight and don't let the bedbugs bite.

Manana
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Hiya Ice

How was that steak? Doesn't it feel good to actually care about what we are eating? Chuckles. We went to a wedding yesterday. Hubby and I had both ordered prime rib, which I really love. I asked for an end cut. Ice, they brought a plate with an end cut that was the size of a roast big enough for a family of four! Hahahaha! I dug in but just could not eat that. We brought it home and have enough for dinner for both of us tonight. Hahahaha!

I had a bit of wistful regret that I can no longer dance the way I used to. My leg just does not have the stamina to handle the pain dancing can cause without pain pills. Then I thought about t a bit more. Yeah, tha pain pills allowed the pain to be masked so I could dance, but they also made me so zoned out that I didn't really enjoy the company of others around me. Not a very balanced trade0off in the long run. So yesterday, I enjoyed a couple of sloe dances with Hubby and spent the rest of the time yakking it up with the folks around me. It was good times all in all.

It is a beautiful day outside here. Hope it is where you are also. Good day to spend a bit of time outside and enjoying the ability to once again enjoy it. Have a good one.

reach