Thread: Day 4 cold turkey from 400mg+ oxy per day

Iam glad u had a good time with your family today. I never became much of a hockey fan growing up in southern california, but the olympic finals... ive gota say that was one of the most exciting sporting events ive ever seen. I have alot more respect for the game now.

To me the addiction iam battling is soooo much harder than dealing with what the cancer has done to me. I have never gotten down on myself because of my leg. I have, however gotten down on myself every single day since i knew i was addicted to pain pills. For so long i would just pop the pills and nurab my emotions. I realize now that, that is not the answer, and the way to deal with life.

Reach you have helped me so much, i really consider you to be a friend. You give me strength and determination. Each time you write to me, or anyone else for that matter theres always somethin that really strikes a chord with me and just sticks to my brain. For example the very last post you responded to at the end where you said we both have been given a few more chances at life and we need to celebrate them.

Hope your getting some rest and will talk to you soon

i forgot to mention as far as the aftercare i do have a few #'s of some places in my area, i will call them tomorrow, in my line of work the first of the month we are slammed, will let you know how that goes, its important for me to follow through with that and really i should have made some phone calls awhile ago, tomorrows a new day

Hey Testoterone Man

Chuckles. Glad the bloodwork was all good. Glad you are good.

I am happy to be a part of your journey, Ice. When I encourage you, it lifts my spirits and helps me to keep my thinking straight also. It's a shared blessing for sure.

There's so many things I don't miss about using... that damn counting is a big one. I would count the pills in the Oxycodone prescription the minute they came into the house... wanted to be sure I wasn't shorted ( actually I was a few times!!). I could never leave the house without checking my meRAB foirst to make sure I would have enough in case we got stranded or something.... even if it was a short trip to the store and back. Even though I only saw my oncologist twice a year, his phone nuraber was erabedded in my head from calling for new scripts. What a drag it all was. What a lot of wasted time and effort. We look back and wonder what the hell was so appealing about that lifestyle... I can think of not one part of it that I would ever, ever want again in my life.

I spent the day with my baby granddaughter.. she is nine months old. She keeps Hubby and I real busy, but I get such a happy kind of tired being with her. When her brother was born, I was still quite a mess. I loved him so much, but was not always able to enjoy him the way he deserved. It was part of the impetus to get myself right again. They are both joys in my life now and apleasure that my husband and I smile about every day. I am so connected to my husband again. I felt horrible guilt about being such a non-wife for so long. No more guilt now, just the great companionship that comes after many years together ( 39 years this year!).

Take care, Ice. We will talk again soon.

Manana
reach

Hey Icehouse

It's been a while.. good to see you again. It is pretty amazing that you were able to cold turkey off that amount of oxy. Glad you survived it and are started to feel grounded again.

What prompted such a drastic step? Are you getting involved in any kind of aftercare? I hope so. It is important. Hope you stay in touch with the board, also, so that we can offer support as you move forward.

Stay healthy, stay committed
reach

Hey Secerets and reachout, just a quick reply and thanks to both of you, im at work and need to make this one quick. I have relapsed several times, and really dont want to again. I know now that I do need some type of support system, before i thought i could just kick it forever on my own, but i cant and i know that now. This W/D's were horrid, I caught myself yawning so i had to go to starbucks hehe. I know i have a long road ahead I need to call some NA places in my area.

Take care

Hey all, day 6, just a quick update, i slept a little! I actually had a few dreams for the first time in 5 nites, goin into work, yall take care

Hey

Just stopped by before signing off the computer for the night. Glad I did as you have made my night. I am so proud of you for getting those nurabers. I do believe the HIPPA laws will 100% protect you, Ice. My employer never knew when I was seeking counseling for the drugs or medical attention for them. Only people who knew were those I told.

Ice, I am happy for you, Buddy. Really happy. Being able to experience the fun, the happiness, the outright joy of fully participating in Life again.... there is just no comparison. Keep reaching for the stars.

Hugs
reach

I really needed to hear that reach, iam having an aweful time today, i should be out enjoying life right now , im really trying to stay positive but today is a butt kicker to the max, w/d's in full effect, will write back later

Morning, Ice

As I read your last post, a lot of memories came back at me. As I became clear-headed tapering off the drugs, I had to work so hard at remerabering what the common little things in life even were. Thinkmking about running erranRAB, watching a little something on TV, even doing everyday chores had become so far removed from my everyday life and thinking that I had to actually re-program my thinking to make them become evryday pieces of my life again. Sometimes I would find myself standing stock still and thinking hard about what I might be doing. It would come like a revelation... like, "Oh! I can sweep the floor," or "Oh! I can empty the dishwasher." It was during times like this that it would really hit me how much of a drug haze I had been existing in for a long, long time.

Just like getting through withdrawal, it took me lots and lots of baby steps to find everyday routine again. Whoever thought there could be pleasure in picking up around the house??? Truthfully, though, it does feel good to me now and I am grateful for even the most mundane tasks. Life is not always exciting, but there is a lot of satisfaction in accomplishing some kind of task or experiencing some little pleasure each day. Yeah, our eyes do become new again to all that is around us.

So enjoy the hoops on TV, enjoy some sunshine on your face this weekend... even enjoy getting up for work each workday and celebrating the fact that you are not just existing anymore, but really and truly living. I am celebrating with you.

Hugs
reach

Reach, I knew before i posted the thread you would have your postive worRAB for me. You've helped alot of people on here. It means alot and this is really the only support i have right now, where i dont know any of you but I know EXACTLY how you feel if your addicted to anything.

Ive been a lurker for along time, this is a great site, and I know theres alot of people going through what Iam. I know theres people reading this post right now who are still using whatever they are addicted to and wanting to kick it so bad. I hope my post can help one person. I think for most people, as far as opiates go i think 3-5 days is the worst most would agree, even going C/T. I couldnt do the weaning thing, just couldnt. Today was one of the best days in along time for me, and it was just a typical monday at work. I just feel myself being reset, its hard to believe 12 hours from now i felt the absolute WORST of the withdrawal, I almost had to call in again, but i forced myself to go to work and get moving, i think that was huge for me. I felt crappy the first few hours but each hour that goes by I feel better, physically and mentally. I can actually feel my natural receptors firing and kicking in. Ive been on such a high dose of oxycontin for so long and i feel a cloud over my head fading. I know the cravings are gona hit. I realize how important getting into a support group is, i didnt in the past.

Goodnite all, hopefully i can get more than 2 hours of sleep tonite