Second Thoughts

**Megss** · 01-23-2011, 06:58 PM

Hey everyone! Thanks for all the posts and updates on your recoveries. 2 weeks from today is the big day. I haven't been on the computer much because I am sinking into this depression. Being in horrible chronic pain for this long really takes a lot out of a person. I don't do anything anymore, I just lay on my ice pack and walk around occasionally. I haven't even changed a diaper in a few days. Part of this is because I am depressed. I keep telling myself it could be a whole lot worse, like a brain tumor, but it is not making me feel better because the pain is so unbearable.

Rose let me know how your appointment goes,

And Tami, how are you feeling? Are you off the pain meRAB now?

01-23-2011, 07:53 PM

Megss, just posted about my 3 1/2 mo post-op. I know it's not good-but DON'T let it discourage you! It's my own fault for rushing into the surgery and not getting the discogram-I really feel that maybe if I would have had that, my surgery would have been better, because something is not righjt with all the pain coming back. You DID everything you were suppose to do and your WILL be a success! Tami

**Megss** · 01-23-2011, 09:31 PM

Yeah I am also terrified of what my life would be like if I don't do the surgery. For the past week I have spent most of my time on the couch. They have really lowered the amount of pain meRAB I am allowed to take right now so I can achieve good pain tolerance after surgery.

Jan- I am only 27, so I have a LOT of living left to do. I want more children, but just the other night I was thinking that maybe 1 is enough. I am so tired of not feeling well, and when you are pregnant, you do not feel well the whole time. At least I don't.

I think what scares me the most is the post op pain. It is bad now, but I think it will be worse for a little while after. Hopefully the leg pain will be gone though. That is what bothers me the most.

The last couple of days I have been so on edge and nervous. The hospital called yesterday for pre-registration and that made it seem more real.

Thanks everyone for your support! For those of you in recovery, keep posting about your progress, and I am thinking of all of you~

01-23-2011, 11:48 PM

Megss, I have to say that you are completely normal! We all go through this. Yes, it's a long, hard recovery. But what's the alternative? An even longer and tougher future on your couch, wondering if you should have gone ahead and had the surgery! You made your decision for good reasons, and not compulsively. You thought it through. Don't try to rethink it all now. Trust yourself! Don't even let yourself go there! Keep busy, sweetie, and push those doubts right out of your head whenever they try to surface. Have something else ready to think about instead, like lovely family times in the future, or even just a song you love that can crowd out those unwanted doubts.

Hang in there, sweetie! It's normal to get nervous as the time gets closer. Don't give in to the second thoughts. And KEEP BUSY!

Take care,
Emily

01-24-2011, 08:51 AM

Surgery is scary - no one goes into it without some fear. It's not the end of the world at all though!

My only advice would be to make sure surgery is the only option before comitting to it. Someone already posted in here about alternative therapies - exercise, chiropracitc, accupuncture, physical therapy, and traction are all great alternatives to surgery. I would never have surgery myself without exhausting these options. And remeraber - if you try an alternative to surgery - sometimes it takes awhile to feel better - Don't go once and assume it should be "Ok". No one heals that fast

01-27-2011, 06:05 AM

I'll post what he says for my 2 week, I just checked it's TOMORROW LOL! good thing I looked I forgot. I am sorry to hear you're in so much pain, the body can go into a depressive state when you are hurt as well so this is probably adding to it even though I know you don't get to do much of anything, but in another breath, if you were not so much in pain you'd be really talking yourself out of surgery instead of feeling and seeing that it just neeRAB to get done and get you FIXED! I know it's very hard, believe me, I've spent weeks in the past crying, miserable, terrible pains that would never end, I am hoping that is all behind me, and it's getting better little by little for me, and I'm not having the agonizing pains like before surgery. You'll get there, I only knew a week before I was scheduled, so it was easier for me -even thou I tried talking myself out of it and living crippled. Soon you will be in a much better position on feelings and healing, just remeraber it's a long term solution to a bad back problem, it's not a quick fix, but it's easier than the pains prior to surgery, and each day to week you feel better, truly you do. I'll post tomorrow or the next day on my visit and see what he says. He's going to check my range of motion I was told, and just see how me and the incision (which is 90% healed BTW) is doing.