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I was born into a South American cannibalistic tribe called Amajuacas in Ucayali Peru. My parents

were Christian missionaries that came to Peru to convert the people to Christianity. Instead, the

Amajuacas converted my parents to their ways. Because I grew up there I didn’t think it was

unusual.


When I was 3 more Christians came and successfully converted my parents back to Christianity. I

believe that the peyote binge my parents were on at the time made them more receptive to the

Christian belief system. They decided to leave the tribe and move with the missionaries to

California.


Shortly after getting their lives in order, my mother was behind a man in the supermarket who was

purchasing steak. This triggered a flashback in my mother and she bit the man, which

unfortunately caused her to end up in the mental institution. I was only living with my father for 2

weeks after that before he had a lapse in judgment and went for a jog down the street naked. It

was this time that I was sent to foster care.


It wasn’t long before I was adopted by a celebrity that I would rather not mention for privacy

reasons. With him I learned to sing and dance and developed an interest in making the world a

better place. He recently passed on, but his message still lives on. I spend a lot of time babysitting

my stepbrother, Blanket, who I believe will have the same ideals.


I am interested in studying engineering because I believe it will be so difficult and require so much

mental effort that while working that I won’t have time to have childhood memories. My therapist

doesn’t believe that this is the best technique. Instead she believes that the best therapy would be

to slowly incorporate meat into my diet. However, I’m perfectly fine being a vegetarian and enjoy

all fruits and vegetables, with the exception of tomatoes, because they are horrifying looking.


As you have probably figured out, my life story is made up. What I am instead informing you

about is that I greatly enjoy creating humorous scenarios in my mind and have for a long time

dreamed of writing a directing comedy movies.