How can I stop being so shy and boost my confidence?

[Rachelle]

I've always been a shy and quiet person. I have social anxiety and I get anxious and really nervous talking to people I don't know. How can I get over my shyness? And this may seem like a stupid question, but can anybody give me tips on how to make new friends?
Also, Please do not suggest doing drugs, or getting drunk. I never get high or drunk.

[Mr. Mike]

The first task is for you to fully realize how precious you are. I'm convinced if you (or any of us) knew how others feel about us, it would be mind-blowing! There are, I think, lots of people in your circle who think very highly of you, and you don't even know it.

Second, it would be valuable to involve yourself in projects that you have strong feelings about. Whether it is a faith project, charity or political cause (etc.), you can gain confidence by becoming an expert on what you have serious interest in. It is much easier to be vocal when you are comfortable with a subject, and that allows you to be more confident.

Third, it would probably help if you learned how to handle people who have outgoing and boisterous personalities. Learn about "power phrases" and how people use them. Understanding this will give you the confidence to not be intimidated by the people around you who tend to dominate the conversation. We all have these people in our lives, and understanding how they operate will definitely help. The internet is awash with info on this.

Know as well that what other people think of you, whether bad or good, does NOT have to become YOUR REALITY. Someone elses opinion of you is simply that -their opinion. You cannot control what other people think. You CAN control how you react to them. Never let someone elses opinion of you become so important that you lose sight of the truth! There are so many people out there who disquise their own insecurities by trying to belittle others. See it for what it is (a sad power play) and don't rent space in your head to these people. Ignore.

Also, please know that being shy is not necessarily bad. I know by your question that you seek to overcome this, and that's fine as well, but I don't see shyness as negative. Often the person who speaks LEAST is the most interesting in the room!

Best...

[massoudelmahdy]

Start talking first with people who look friendly and like you, they will help you to become confident, and then move on with people who you like and try to take their attention.

[Mr.Schlumpkins]

Being a shy and quiet person isnt a character flaw. A lot of people just don't really have the confidence to be a conversation starter. It takes a long time for some people to get over anxiety- but you've got to keep in mind. Everyone has anxiety. The people that you see that are able to just make friends in an instant or go to parties and become the life of the party- they all battle anxiety-whether it's in their relationship, with their kids, by themselves, in general.
Ecstacy helps, but if that's not an option-
go to places that you normally wouldnt. Shows,parties,the mall- start conversations with people.If you see someones hair and you like it a whole lot- tell them. They may be lonely too and just want someone to talk to.