Dump your homemade Family Guy cutaways here!

[annnabellaaaxo]

Peter: Boy, the service here's almost as worse as that last restaurant I went to...

-cut to Peter sitting at a table, a caption beneath him reads, "Peter Griffin - Midland, Texas"-

Peter: Well, this is getting ridiculous. That red head went into the storeroom 30 minutes ago.

Peter gets up and walks over to the storeroom and walks in to find Sylar in the middle of eating Charlie's brain.

Peter: Oh, well this is kinda awkward...

(Eh, sorry. It's not very good. T_T)

[Astroni???a]

Have you ever come up with a sudden idea for a Family Guy cutaway, yet have no easy access to Fuzzy Door Productions? Dump 'em here, good or bad, and see if they amuse others.

*******

Lois: "I just want him to be careful. I don't want Peter to have happen to him what happened to Pepe Le Pew!"

Pepe on the phone to his producer: "Hey, I was just talking to one of my old co-stars; you know, the skunk from Detroit.....uh, she just confessed to me she was actually a cat. .....Was anyone aware of that?"
Producer: "Oh sure! Everyone was."
Pepe: "Uh.....what? Didn't anybody do some checking?"
Producer: "No, it was on purpose. They were ALL cats. All of them."
Pepe: Stunned silence for a few seconds, then "AAAAAUGHH, YOU GUYS ARE SICK!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME??"
Producer: "To be honest, we thought it was hilarious."
Pepe: "AAAAAAAAUUUGGHHHH!!"

*******

Peter: "Don't you worry, Lois, I can handle rambunctious children for an afternoon. Heck, I was once mayor of Angel Grove!"
Peter in a tweed suit, carrying a bullhorn and looking up the legs of a giant robot and a giant monster: "HEY! HEY--YOU TWO TAKE THIS ELSEWHERE! NOT IN MY CITY!"

*******

Peter: "You gotta be kidding me! That's worse than Jack Palance at his kid's soccer game!"
Cut to the bleachers of a soccer game, and Jack Palance in a sweater sitting next to Peter.
Jack, in his really quiet and whispery voice: "Goooooo...........................
soooonnnn.......................yes. Kiccckkkkkkk................the BALLLLLL..........
.......VERY.............farrrrrrrrr............"
Peter: "Know what? You're creepy."

*******

Lois falls down an embankment and is now dangling dangerously on the edge of a cliff.
Lois: "PETEEEEEER! HEEEEEEEEELP!"
Peter: "AW NO! I'm coming, Lois---"
Behind Peter, some teenager says "All right, the last box of Corn Pops!"
*Jaws theme starts playing*

Peter: "What? No! The Corn Pops! Okay, stay calm...."
Lois: "PEEEEEEEEEEEEE-TEEEEEEEER!!"
Peter: "Uh.......grab my hand, Lois!"
Peter, close-up: ".........Oooohhhh, that sweet popcorn taste, I want some NOW! But instead I'm stuck rescuing this lousy wench and I lost my pass and I'm late for class and I JUST WANT MY POPS AAAAAAHHHHH!!"

Peter lets go and Lois tumbles down 500 feet into a river. Peter shoves the teenager out of the way and snatches the Corn Pops box from his hands, then downs the whole thing by holding it upside-down over his open mouth.

Peter happily, while a frazzled Lois climbs over the cliff behind him: "I GOTTA have my POPS!"

[britterz209]

Oh! I thought you meant Dollar bills but you clearly mean gold coins. I get it.

[WanderingTraveler]

peter:they're running out of Ideas for pokemon.

poopskie- the feces pokemon
penshkill- the pencil pokemon
giggity- the giggity goo pokemon
dotil- the dot pokemon
linecx- the line pokemon
invizea- the ________ pokemon
pokemon- the pokemon pokemon

[I am a Bad Man]

20 I made a profile when I was 16.

[Tacos]

Peter: Remember when I directed the Transformers movie?
[Cut to a makeshift, action-figure-made Transformers trailer. Ironically, this 20 second piece is much better than the hour and a half long Michael Bay movie seems to be based on what's been seen.]

[checkers015]

Not the best, but:

Brian- Don't you think locking your cereal in a vault is a little drastic?

Peter- Hey, it's hard to have breakfast ready without someone trying to take it.

(Flashes to Peter pouring some colorful cereal)

Peter- Nice morning for a bowl of Post Fruity Pebbles.

(Music from an ice cream truck playing outside)

Peter- Screw this, I'm getting some ice cream.

(As Peter goes out, we see a purple dinosaur discard a tape recorder)

Dinosaur- Like taking candy from a baby.

(Peter's comes back in the kitchen)

Peter- Darn, forgot my wallet and.. Barney my Pebbles!!!

[crouchingtiger]

Peter: This is worse than the time I was on The Tyra Banks Show.
[CUT TO HIM ON THE SHOW]
Tyra Banks: From the hit show "Family Guy", here he is: Peter Griffin!
(Peter comes in wearing lingere)
Peter: Wait...This isn't one of those pantie parties?

[maddie fitz x3]

Here's a few off the top of my head:

Peter: I haven't been this excited since I saw "Snakes On A Plane".
[Cut to Serpentor from GI Joe is sitting in a plane, talking to a flight attendant]
Flight Attendant: Need anything
Serpentor: Yes, get me a pillow and a blanket. THIS IS COMMAND!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter: We just need to do something crazy. Like those guys on "Viva La Bam".
[Cut To Bam Margerra with his "crew"]
Bam: Today we're gonna go to Vito's and... You know I don't really feel like doing this. How about we just stay home, rent a movie, and order a pizza.
Bam's crew: ***Assorted sounds like "Okay", "Fine by me." etc.***
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter: I lucky to have a great neighbor like Quagmire. Even luckier then George W. Bush having Ted Nuget.
[Cut to Ted Nuget sitting in a lounge, reading "War And Peace". Several Iraq war protesters are outside.]
Iraq War Protesters: Stop the war. Stop the war. Stop the war.
Ted Nuget: Can you keep it down, I'm trying to read a book.
Iraq War Protesters: Stop the war. Stop the war. Stop the war.
Ted Nuget: I'm serious, I'm reading "War And Peace". Which is ironic in this situation.
Iraq War Protesters: Stop the war. Stop the war. Stop the war.
Ted Nuget: That's it.
[Ted gets up, picks up a bow and arrow. He lights up the arrow and fires it out the window.]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

More soon.

[Don_East]

[Robert Fitz]

My favorite cutaway from this topic.
Oh and DarthGonzo's suggestion about a literal wall would be funny if it was the 2nd cutaway.
"Reminds me of the time we broke the fourth wall!"
(fans expect another table read BUT NO Peter breaks the wall literally)