Am I wrong to want to be desired by my wife?

[Couplekc]

I have been married for 18 years. We have 2 children. When we first met we had wild and kinky sex. Even though we were broke and barely had money to make it from check to check we were happy. Now as time has gone on we are more mature,we both work, and we no longer struggle to pay the bills. For the last 10 years the amount of sex has decreased considerably. We are at maybe one time a month,almost always the day before her period starts. This isnt by my choice. I want it so much more. We have argued about it a few times and she says she loves me with all her heart. She just has no libido. Sex just doesn't even enter her mind. She saw her doctor,there is nothing physically wrong. We went to counseling and agreed I'd stop bugging her for sex and she would try harder. That was a year ago. First months was up to maybe 3 times a month,but as of today we are and have been back to the same 1 time a month right before her period. I love her and my kids. I just need sex, it makes me feel desired,gives me confidence,makes me happy,and most of all makes me feel like a man. We don't fight about it,we don't fight at all,from the eyes of the kids and the public you would think things are just fine. Although inside I feel as if I'm dying. All I think about is sex,I have become increasingly more depressed and I don't want to divorce for the kids sake. I don't want to be the blame for ruining thier lives. Now with that said I don't know what to do either. I know when we have sex she is satisfied, because she orgasms,I know she is not having an affair,I know we have tried every thing possible to spice things up,I do share in the house work and she has a hobby that she loves and gets to do regularly, I tried romantic getaways,lingerie,toys,massages,love notes,sexy text,and now I'm at a loss again. I just don't know what to do.
She is not on Any medications. And all of this has been discussed with her for years now. As open and honest as you see here. Yes we did go to counseling. For this problem. And as I said above. When I asked her why she isn't interested she doesn't know. Says sex just doesn't come into her mind like it does mine. We started to go broke from all the counseling which is why we stopped. Also because she agreed to try and be more sexual. At first it got better. But now. Back to the same.
She isn't menopausal she is not even 40 yet and no signs. As far as date night tried that. You can only go to so many restaurants and movies. Same ole conversations, her talking about her job and her hobby. And me listening. I have no life outside of work and home so nothing for me to bring into the conversation, so I listen.

[SHowdy]

Has she talked to her OBGYN? Because I know some women with a low libido can get testosterone and they rub it on their wrist and it helps them out. Is she on a medication that makes her lose her libido, like an anti depressant or anxiety medicine? I'd ask her to go to the doctor to see if they have anything that can help her.

[SPhilly mommom]

I'm sorry about your situation. Menopause and hormones at the stage of a woman's life cycles cause a depleted desire, dryness and even pain.... I do not have that problem, but my 4 sisters do....they do not desire sex anymore. They all take hormone therapy....and sometimes alcohol...lol...to loosen up they tell me. Good luck!

[Shaila]

Your not wrong atall..but then as a woman do you realise how tiring it is to work. look after the home, the kids and balance everything and then get in to bed to feel pressurised to have sex? perhaps you need to try a date night once a week, where she's totally relaxed through the day..or its an easy nite..ie less chores and you do something just the two of you..it may take a while but once you get into it ..sex will come automatically..just don't force her..also tell her how you feel.Good liuck

[Joe]

yeAH mine too i just take longer showers!!!!!