To be honest with you, I really can't stand my son and daughter. They're twins, sixteen years old. My son listens to the Insane Clown Posse and my daughter aspires to be the next Kim Kardashian. Both get by in schools with Cs, my son likes malt liquor and got a citation for sexually harassing a woman on the bus a few weeks ago. He engraved his forearm with a homemade tattoo and it makes no sense. My daughter had to be treated for an STD last year. Neither one has ever read a book through.

My niece and nephew are the absolute opposites. She's sixteen and he's fifteen. They get along well. They are so precocious. They both watch old movies and foreign films. In fact, I've learned about directors like Kuorsawa and Fellini from them. My nephew memorizes Shakespearean sonnets and my niece acts out scenes from Ibsen plays. They both like a lot of interesting music, ranging from symphonies to Australian aboriginal music. They spend a lot of time at the library and they're a delight to be around.

Why, despite having books, educational resources, boundaries, discipline and all else, did my kids turn out to be stupid white trash of whom I am embarassed? I so wish I had my sister's luck and had two kids like my niece and nephew. Since neither of my child wants or can attain a college education at this point, I want them out by age 18. I gave them every opportunity, taught them right from wrong and this is how they turned out: ignorant, disrespectful, lazy, obnoxious, drunk and promiscuous!