Thread: HUGE public speaking problem... any help?

when i read your question i felt like i had to tell you that you are not alone in this. im so similar to you, the going deep red thing included, and im afraid to speak to people and think my childhood experiences of kids jeering at me when i blushed.its really hard to get over, but it can be done just with practice, and not giving up. you dont say what age you are? in my first years of school, i hardly spoke to anyone out of fear and had these anxiety attacks when they did. it can leave you feeling isolated and lonely! and i know you want to talk to people, join in, its just that you afraid, you can help feeling nervous.im 17 now and kids do get nicer, people are more accepting. i remember having to stay off school during a public speaking thing for english, so i lost a percentage of my grade, just cause i couldnt stand being so vulnerable in front of a class of 30 kids!!i try to avoid anything that might put me in that position where i could be embarrassed, scared or whatever. you will probably develop these coping mechanisms too. the thing is, locking yourself up in your house, or getting home schooled will just make it worse. youre just avoiding the problem and when you do go out in social situations the effects will be far worse than they are now.you think inwardly too much, try to think of others, do you have a close friend at school? people actually dont notice others flaws you know, when you see somebody you dont think "uh wow they look nervous" or pick out whats wrong with them. people mature, people dont abuse others. you have to trust that. although be prepared that if they do insult you, then take a deep breath and block them out and realise how immature theyre being.if yoou do feel anxiety coming on, concentrate on your breathing, making sure its slow and relaxed, try to think about something else. like something you have planned that makes you happy. try not to focus on what youre doing, or take it seriously. when you speak, then think about what your sayiing, not abut how youre being perceived. when people are watching you, theyre nervous too about public speaking in class and are looking to see how you are coping. the others who've already done it, are usually relieved its over and are distracted. anyway.. i do ramble.. i know.. sorry... yyour problems with general communications, pick up a few comon phrases like, "oh really?" and "no way, did that actually happen?""haha, thats funny" if someone shares a story, use their story to relate to them , think of something similar that has happend to you.people are really involved with themselves usually, and arnt looking to see how you are perceiving them, so just focus on what you are talking about.sorry if im not making sense.oh and listen to stanley above.. he has really good tips...it will get better x

I know exactly how you feel. I was heavy as a child and I was always tormented by other kids even adults sometimes. I was always very depressed growing up. Now as an adult.... I am a supervisor at a warehouse and last week I had to do interviews for the very first time. When I did the interviews my face would get beat red and my hands would sweat. I felt like everything that came out of my mouth was jibberish. I couldn't barely talk. It was talking but I got so nervous that I would studder. I felt like ti was going to pass out. I had to leave the room to take a breather. I had to call the other supervisor in to help me with the interview. It's so embaressing that I can't even do a one on one conversation w/ someone. I felt more nervous then they did. Don't get me wrong I am a great boss but when it comes to me speaking I just can't do it. I hate that people have to look at me and that I have to be confident in what I say. Which I'm not. And therapy does not help. I just think that I can't change. My mind was raised this way and it would be impossible to make me feel secure about myself. I have a one year old and I really do not want her to end up like me. I always thought I was the only one with this problem. And I have no one to talk to about it b/c they look at me like what the heck is wrong with you. They just don't understand. ANd yes, I now that me being heavy is the main reason for me to be like this!!!!