Thread: Will he PHYSICALLY ABUSE me if he has a history of it?

Im 26. And my childhood sweetheart whom I've known for 14 years (we met when we were 12) have always been friends. I moved from my hometown 8 years ago, but him and I still stayed in contact and when I would visit--we always hung out. We had puppy love when young and dated briefly, but it was childs-play. We have NEVER had sex and up until recently, have both decided that we're ready to take it to the NEXT level, both sexually and romantic wise. He's planning a trip down to see me in a few months. Well---growing up---I recall witnessing two incidents in high school where he beat two girls bloody after they hit him in what started as a verbal fight. And I know he grew up watching his dad beat his mom. (his parents later divorced) Not sure if he ever had counseling, as we never discussed it. But he is HIGHLY intelligent, but I do sense womanizing/misogynist traits within him. But I love him. And I know if he proposed, I would accept. How can I be sure that he would never get angry enough to beat me?Quasimod---sometimes if not for the ignorance and callousness that leaks from people's mouth, their point could actually be well-taken. Work on your delivery, before you start name-calling in the sake of being a "help" to someone. Because it's no help to insult someone.

You can't. I think you're an idiot if you mary this guy.

Do not put your feet on this path... it WILL lead you to the Emergency Room -- or worse.Please, Sweetie! Please! Please! Please!!!

If he proposes, you need to make it mandatory that he goes to Anger Management classes first. I am not sure even that works, but it is better than nothing. Don't piss him off.

You can't. Not unless you actually ask him about the counseling and get not only an answer in the affirmative but assurance that it's something that concerns him as well and that he continues to keep an eye on. Otherwise, given his history, I would frankly steer clear.

You can't, you need to discuss it with him. If he still has these tendency's urge him to seek anger management and counseling.

Talk about it before you go any further. I would also check out his criminal record to see if anyone has ever put any charges against him . Good Luck.

If he beat up two girls in high school, what is to stop him from hitting you? He sounds like a wimp to me for beating up girls. What a loser. I say run away from this punk.

It would be completely ridiculous of you to marry him, or even date him for that matter. Are you nuts?

You need to be very careful here. Unfortunately abusers rarely stop and will usually continue their abusive tendencies in any relationship they are in. He needs to have counseling both individually and with you to keep your relationship strong in respect. You need to bring the issue up with him and tell him your concerns, but I'd do it in a public place. I don't mean in front of a bunch of people listening to you, but like a sit down restaurant where you have your privacy but there are people around in case you need some help.