I a currently applying to the UW Stout Game design program. I am already accepted to the college, but i need some proof reading done on my entrance essay. Any error catching/criticism is helpful

Instructions:
In 500 words or less, discuss the major reasons and influences leading you to pursue your undergraduate work in game design and development. Artists often create projects that involve, reflect or influence their community. Tell us how your work will benefit your community and how your chosen field will impact culture in the future.

Essay:

The first video game I ever experienced was a game called Ski on my parents old Commodore Vic-20. I was three years old, sitting in the dining room while racing down an 8-bit virtual ski hill dodging vague shapes symbolizing trees and rocks. Despite having such simple graphics I found it very compelling, even more so than the realism of television. As I got a little older, I thought it would be cool to create video games instead of just playing them, but it felt like a far off dream, like a kid wanting to be president or an astronaut. So for the time being I just had fun playing the games.

Early on in middle school I discovered my two passions: computers and art. I can't say how I came across these two interests, it only seemed natural. If I wasn't playing a video game, I was either taking apart a computer out of curiosity or sketching my latest inspiration. These two interests developed greatly, although separately. It wasn't until I took Computer Graphics and Design my sophomore year in high school that these passions came together in the form of digital artwork. From the start, I fell in love with the class; I found all the designing, 3-D modeling and animation so much fun. Even outside of class I would be creating new works or learning a new design program. It was with this sudden love that my repressed dream resurfaced; game design suddenly seemed like a much more realistic career. Ever since, I have done a wealth of research into game design topics ranging from psychology to aesthetics, even taking a class on the side to learn basic programming. Now more than ever do I see video games for what they truly are, an art form; not only a medium of expression for the designers, but also for the players.

It is obvious that video games have had a huge impact worldwide, not only in business but also in culture. Video games, like any other art form, have the power to express, educate, inspire and even instigate action; a power that can, and has in some cases, been abused. While entertaining the player, they impress behaviors and ideals that can affect how the player perceives a topic or even just a specific thing. With how large the game industry has become, the number of players that these ideas are impressed upon reaches into the millions. These people than later shape the world we live in, carrying with them some of the very ideas they learned from the games they played as kids. As a prospective member of the game design field, I view it as our responsibility to carefully design our games around ideals that will benefit society, while also entertaining them; the reason they picked up the game in the first place.

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life"
-Confucius