...and real, old-fashioned cocaine in your soda!

I long for those good old days, before unions and big government regulations, when a hard-working five-year-old could come home from his 14-hour shift at the coal mines and spend his meager income on a snake-oil pill advertising that it cures black lung and emphysema, and there was no big government telling companies that their medicine had to work as advertised. Who's with me?
Hey: those of you who are confident in the magic of the self-policing free market: do me a favor, and turn off your antivirus and click one of those ads around this page.

Why not? After all, if a business is in business, it must be ethical and not deliberately trying to harm its consumers, right?