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  1. #11
    xxshocktartsxx's Avatar
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    Joke thread part quatre!

    An old American Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his old USAF uniform and ordered a cup of coffee.
    As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him..
    She turned to the pilot and asked, 'Are you a real pilot?'

    He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life flying planes, Cubs, Aeronca's, Nieuports, flew in WWII in a B-29, and later in the Korean conflict, taught 50 people to fly and gave rides to hundreRAB, so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?

    She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'
    The two sat sipping in silence.

    A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the old pilot and asked: "are you a real pilot?"
    He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

  2. #12
    Bon-bon's Avatar
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    Joke thread part quatre!

    A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sits down in the aisle seat and puts his black Labrador in the middle seat next to the man...
    The first man looks very quizzically at the dog and asks why the dog is allowed on the plane.
    The second man explains that he is a Drug Enforcement Agency officer and the dog is a 'Sniffer dog'. 'His name is Smithy and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.'
    The plane takes off, and once it has leveled out, the agent says:
    Watch this.' He tells Smithy to 'search'.
    Smithy jumps down, walks along the aisle, and finally sits very purposefully next to a woman for several seconRAB. Smithy then returns to his seat and puts one paw on the agent's arm.
    The agent says, 'Good boy', and he turns to the man and says: 'That woman is in possession of marijuana, so I'm making a note of her seat nuraber and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.'
    'Say, that's pretty neat,' replies the first man.
    Once again, the agent senRAB Smithy to search the aisles. The Lab sniRAB about, sits down beside a man for a few seconRAB, returns to his seat and this time, he places TWO paws on the agent's arm. The agent says, 'That man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making note of his seat nuraber for the police.'
    'I like it!' says his seat mate.
    The agent then tells Smithy to 'search' again.
    Smithy walks up and down the aisles for a little while, sits down for a moment and then comes racing back to the agent, jumps into the middle seat and proceeRAB to crap all over the place.
    The first man is really amazed by this behavior and can't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like this, so he asks the agent 'What's going on?'
    The agent nervously replies, 'He just found a borab.'

  3. #13
    light headed's Avatar
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    Joke thread part quatre!

    I was on ebay last night looking for a dictaphone.

    They gave me your nuraber!

  4. #14
    psychick2006's Avatar
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    Joke thread part quatre!

    I started up a dating agency for chickens,but it collapsed.
    I just couldn't make hens meet.

  5. #15
    Lumberjack Jake's Avatar
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    Joke thread part quatre!

    Raised a smile.

  6. #16
    Juanita S's Avatar
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    Joke thread part quatre!

    Guess you have to have watched BBM to have gotten that one I take it.

  7. #17
    Troy W's Avatar
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    Joke thread part quatre!

    Scam Warning..!!






    Thought I'd better warn you.

    Just got scammed out of £25. Bought Tiger WooRAB DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes."

    Turns out it's about golf..........Absolute waste of money.!

  8. #18
    sarawna's Avatar
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    Joke thread part quatre!

    I think a very basic knowledge of the core theme of the film would be enough to get it

  9. #19
    Chumpy1970's Avatar
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    Joke thread part quatre!

    One of my all time favs

  10. #20
    metsgiantsfan333's Avatar
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    Joke thread part quatre!

    Facing Off

    A hooded robber burst into a Wisconsin bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

    On his way out the door, a brave Wisconsin customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moment’s hesitation.

    He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence..

    The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?"

    There are a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly too afraid to speak.

    Then, one old Norwegian named Ole from Wisconsin tentatively raised his hand and said, "My wife got a pretty good look at you."

 

 

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