I'm 30 years old and my husband is 37. We have been together for 11 years now. When we first got together our sex life was great, as it always is when you first meet someone. As years have past, having sex with my husband seems more like a chore to me than actual love, getting bored with the same old ways. I have tried talking to him about this, but as usual it goes in 1 ear and out the other. My husband enjoys having sex with me. I on the other hand do not. It's not that I don't want to have sex because I do, I just don't want it with him..He is a very boring lover and its all about him. He does not believe in fore play and I have never been touch by him. He just says " I want you" and expects me to pull my pants down and hop in bed. When we do "do it" I lay there like a log, just so I can get it over with. He wants it at the worst times possible like when our kids are up and awake. They have actually walked in a few times. Men can just think about it and get a woody, but women need to be worked at. There are times when he gets done in 2 minutes and I'm left with an awe..I never orgasim unless I am alone. It has been getting to the point when he asks for it, I say that I'm not in the mood and he gets really mad and thinks I'm having sex with someone eles, which I'm not. Just last night I went to bed early and he got really drunk with some friends. He came to bed trying to roll me over so he could have his drunken sex with me. I could smell the booze on him! Not very attractive. I told him that I was sleeping. He got up ranted and raved about how I was fucking someone eles. Then I wake up this morning, found that he put it on facebook.

I want to have sex, but I need more than what he is giving me. It's to the point I'm even willing to let him go get it somewhere eles because I can't pretend anymore. He obviously isn't willing to work with me, because like I said before I have spoken to him about this. My needs do not matter to him. I want and need to have affection. I need to be touched, kissed, rubbed and loved.

I also know that I am not the only one with this problem. So if there is some really good advice, I'm willing to hear it. I have fear that this is going to affect our marriage more than it already has. We have had a lot of problems in the past and going to counceling is not an option. I do not have time nor money and already tried it. They don't really help anyways.