Okay. First of all, I really suck at life. And I am emotive. Very. When I had 10 years, I was bullied, rejected everywhere. I couldn't take that. I needed company or a friend. I had none. My parents knew that I was bullied. But... they did not know that at age of 13, I thought about suicide. I was sitting on a bench for few hours and thinking "why not?" Somehow, I got over friends. I don't need them. Even when someone is trying to get to me, I reject them. I don't want to have any friends. I do everything by my own. I have concentration problem. In school, I try so hard, but I can't have concentration for full 45 minutes. I can't study because of it. Well, now I am in highschool. My grades are... not good, not bad. But, I will most likely fall class. (year.) In last week of school, I started to think about suicide. My life was pure failure. And still is. I have a nice computer, I have Youtube channel with more then 160 videos, I have awesome bicycle that I want to upgrade, but I can't, I need to pass class. (year.) So in basics, tomorrow is the last day of school. I will fall a year. I can't do that to myself, my parents and some other people that love me. I just lost my grandpa. I loved him the most. Even more then my parents. My grandma loves me. I can't fail a year. Because of her. I have no idea what should I do now. I see suicide the only way out. I don't show signs of suicide yet. But I am loosing will to live. I can't take it anymore! When I think about my situation, I cry every time. I can't stand it anymore. It passed two months since my grandpa passed away and I am still crying. I am thinking about suicide because I can't see my friends passing a year and me back in first grade, because I can't stand failing, esp. like this, because I don't wanna know what will people think about me. The only person I love is dead. The only thing I love is unreachable because of my grades.
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