Please hear me out...i do not approve of my husband salsa dancing. We got married 6 months ago and have been together for almost 5 years. It wasnt until 2 months before the wedding that i learned my husband was in a salsa group. I had not found out about it until a friend of mine text me asking if i had gone to a talent show that my husband was participating in. I told my friend i didnt but quickly found the youtube video that had my husband salsa dancing in front of a large audience with his group. I have to say i was a little hurt hearing from a friend and not my husband about it.

I grew up in a family where social dancing is frowned upon. Of course that was rooted into my brain but i wouldnt have hailed fire and brimstone on my fiance at the time. I did tell him i was hurt and wish he didnt. He gave me an ultimatum: support his dancing or we were through.

Since i was waist deep in wedding plans i supported him. I wanted to grow from it like couples are suppose to do. Sadly, that has not been the case.

Shortly after the talent show my husband chose to go dancing again. I did not find out from him but instead his facebbok. I had noticed that he had his commander in the army drive him an hour and a half away (passing my house in the process) to go dance and then have his commander drive back. This particular night my husband knew i was busy at home working on our wedding and i would have appreciated him to come and help me. It broke my heart and my dislike for dancing turned into hate.

My husband went to three other dance meets before our wedding. All of which i had to find out through facebook and not him. We got married and i asked him nicely not to go dancing for a while that i really didnt feel comfortable with it. He agreed but our marriage was affected by my request. He was distant from me and we were hardly intimate. When i asked why it was because i was was basically making him live the life of a hermit. I told him he could do other activities like mountain biking or martial arts. He declined. I told him that i didnt mind if he went and hung out with his friends outside of the dancing. He declined saying they wouldnt have time.

Even though he says he has lived the life of a hermit i caught a video on his phone the other day of his going to a dance meet that happened earlier this month.

I dont know what to do...i was even going to gain some courage to let him go to a dance meet in january but i cant now. I havent addressed his recent hiding from me because i dont know what to say.
Help....