Am I able to live on base with my fiancee, while he's in boot camp for 2 months in

04-29-2009, 09:25 AM

order to get into the army? My fiancee, has asked me how I would feel about him joining the army reserve. At first I said I didn't like it at all until I heard more about it from a local army recruiter. He also told me that he would have to go away to boot camp for 2 months, and that's when I said no way, not going to happen. But then I told him if I can live on base with him while he's in boot camp, then he can go. Cause I really cannot handle going 2 months without him. So what I want to know is, am I able to live on base with him while he's in boot camp?

**Air Force Wife** · 04-29-2009, 09:26 AM

2 months for basic is nothing hun! and like others have said you are not recognized as family because you two are only engaged. you need to learn to be independent and live your own life if you want to stay with a military man. if this is something he feels strongly about you need to support him in his decision.he WILL resent you years from now if you hold him back from his dreams

04-29-2009, 09:26 AM

First off, no you can not go with him or live with him while he is in boot camp. Even after boot camp only spouses and dependent children are permitted to live on base.
Secondly if you can not go 2 months without your fiancee then the military is not something you are going to be able to handle in general. Military spouses have to be strong and independent, even if our husbands are not deployed, there are schools and training that keep us apart from our spouses at times. I am not trying to be mean but its the truth, if you can't handle 8 wks, you can't handle the military.

**Grad Student** · 04-29-2009, 09:26 AM

You are only receptive to the idea of him leaving if you can go to boot camp with him? You need to let go and grow up, you can not dictate what another can and can not do with their life because you "are not happy about a separation". You can not go through life attached to another human beings hip 24-7. You need to learn to be more independent.

And you need to be married to matter to the military. Only dependents are allowed to live on base. However, last time I checked, reservist did not have base housing. You will not be able to follow him to boot camp, no family goes with them to boot camp.

I would like to add in, if you restrict or forbid him to enlist (due to your clingyness) he will resent you later on. If he is not allowed to join due to your dependence on him, then it is sad and I feel sorry for him.

04-29-2009, 09:26 AM

Sorry, no. I second the other opinion that you need to adjust to his absence in the event of other more lengthy absences.

**Grad Student** · 04-29-2009, 09:26 AM

You are only receptive to the idea of him leaving if you can go to boot camp with him? You need to let go and grow up, you can not dictate what another can and can not do with their life because you "are not happy about a separation". You can not go through life attached to another human beings hip 24-7. You need to learn to be more independent.

And you need to be married to matter to the military. Only dependents are allowed to live on base. However, last time I checked, reservist did not have base housing. You will not be able to follow him to boot camp, no family goes with them to boot camp.

I would like to add in, if you restrict or forbid him to enlist (due to your clingyness) he will resent you later on. If he is not allowed to join due to your dependence on him, then it is sad and I feel sorry for him.

04-29-2009, 09:26 AM

not only no but HELL no.

as a fiance you do NOT exist to the military. period.

additionally.. he will NOT be eligible for MFH while in Basioc training or any schooling lasting less than six months long if he was married( which is the ONLY time you are eligible for on base housing.

and strike three: Reservists are NOT eligible for base housing unless activated for more than 30 days.

quit being selfish. you have NO RIGHT to tell him he cannot serve in the Armed Forces. NONE WHATSOEVER.

what in the HELL do you plan on doing when he gets DEPLOYED FOR A YEAR?!

you need to grow up and quit being so dependent on him. separations are a fact of military life. If you are not strong enough to handle that, then do him a favor and leave him now.

04-29-2009, 09:26 AM

You CANNOT live with him while he is Bootcamp. Absolutely not. he will be staying the barracks getting trained. It's Bootcamp not daycamp. As a fiancee, you get nothing. Even if you were married, you couldn't be with him. He will be gone longer than two months. Bootcamp is two months, plus however long his AIT is.

If you are going to marry this man, you need to start being more independent. What are you going to do if he is activated and goes to Afghanistan for 12-18 months? If you want to be a military wife, you need to get those big girl panties on NOW.

04-29-2009, 09:27 AM

I am afraid not. During Basic Training he will be living in an all male barracks, no women allowed. Besides he will undoubtedly too tired to be able to entertain you. Two months is not a long time at all. How long would you be separated if he went away to college? You two need to talk it out. If you are afraid he will be unfaithful. Well, not much chance of that. Well that's my take on it. Good luck to both of you.

04-29-2009, 09:27 AM

No. Basic Training is very intense and your fiance will be very busy. No family can stay with him, or even visit.

Also, although you are engaged to be married, you aren't husband and wife yet. Even after his training is complete, you cannot live with him on post until you are married. Living together outside of marriage is frowned upon by the military .... big time.

I suppose the recruiter failed to mention that two months is nothing compared to being deployed for 12 to 15 months. Most soldiers are deployed multiple times, too. If your fiance is planning to join the military, he is going to be away more than he will be with you.