A Bike Nobody Would Want To Steal?

[*Banned User*]

I am trying to buy a beach cruiser for 60$ in walmart but I want to remodel the bike so that nobody would want to steal that piece of crap! Can anyone give me suggestions on how to make such a repulsive bike that the only reason people will look at it is because they can't believe how much of a piece of crap it is. I want it to be worth 3 times less then the price I paid for it at walmart. Please go into as much detail as possible!

[PETER GRIFFIN]

Use "rust" spray paint (rattle can) to age the rims, spokes and hubs. Won't take a lot; just enough to give it a "seen better days" look. Do the same to the cranks, seatpost, stem and bar.

Couple strips of duct tape to the saddle. Add a strip of duct tape over the seatpost collar to give the illusion that tape is holding the seatpost in place.

Remove the grips and replace with built up layers of duct tape or twine.

That's enough work. The rest will come naturally.