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  1. #1
    mahesh's Avatar
    Newbie - NLP

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    Please comment an rate my poem?

    Choice

    Life gives you free choice
    But choice it is only an illusion
    All has been decided before
    No matter what you think

    You are never in control
    Someone has already decided for you
    You will never get a say
    Even if you crave to

    Make decisions of your own
    Do what you think is right
    But the path you choose has been determined
    You never had a choice

    Life gives you free choice
    Though life is but an illusion
    How can something non-existent
    Help to write the future

    Though someone controls your choices
    Always keep in mind
    That you will someday
    Control the choices of someone else

  2. #2
    I think it,s good but vague.Are you referring to predestination or to a superior being--a god being in control.Or are the two in your mind linked.I am a firm believer in predestination but not in a religious sense.I think it,s good and deep --8-10

  3. #3
    tabi16
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    This is a really good poem and I love the general feeling and vibe but it is a little confusing. I guess this is how it's meant to be! I really can feel what you mean and I think the length is perfect. Congratulations and good luck with whatever that poem is going to be used for (keeping in a cupboard, showing a friend, publishing...)

  4. #4
    Stella's Avatar
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    love it, Whatever the pundits say I think it's worth publication. Pundits are only there to be critical

 

 

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