(just to let you know i don't do this stuff i had to make it up)

My life with O.C.D
You’re my drug
When I’m alone I go to you
Sometimes at night I can’t sleep
So I pray to god that my addiction will be better tomorrow
I cry when reality sinks in
That I’m all alone
No one can help me
So I lie in bed and pray to god
I feel like he’s the only one I have that understands

As a child I felt alone
I would push everyone out of my life
I ask myself how can I just get close to someone
without this pain
Without that person hurting me
I’m wide awake crying from all the loneliness
I pray to god to give me that courage I need
To survive another night

As if that’s not enough
The people that I am close to
I’m afraid of something terrible happening to them
I’m afraid of them being killed in a car accident
Being killed in general or even them killing themselves
I pray to god for these thoughts to go away

When I hear a fire truck I think death
I fear that it’s my family
I worry about if everyone is safe
If I have plans to meet someone
And they don’t show up on time
I panic something happened to them
I pray to god to stop me from worrying

I’m laying in bed all alone worrying about my family
I try to sleep but all I can think of is if I go to bed
Then something bad will happen to them
And I won’t be there to help them
I pray to god to let me sleep

Three hours go by
I’m still awake
It’s six in the morning
I still feel as if I fall asleep
Then something bad will happen
I pray to god I won’t be this way my whole life

I fear to be close to someone
But I fear of being alone
I feel empty inside
I feel like I don’t have anyone to love me
But it’s all my fault
I push people away
But why do I have to be this way
I want to love without worry
And I want to be loved
I pray to god that someday I will be loved

With all these feelings rushing through me
I go to my drug
My addition
The only thing that makes me feel alive
I pray to god one day I can stop cutting myself
And stop all the blood
I pray to god to be normal
I pray to him ever night to save my life


( i feel like thats more towards depression then ocd )
i would really love if you could help me by telling me if what i wrote could be ocd