You get there by figuring out that you have *within yourself* everything you need to survive and be happy. The more of that power you hand over to another person, the more desperate and clingy you will be to try to make sure you don't lose it. Unfortunately, that very behavior is more likely to push the other person away. The source of annoying clinginess is fear: fear of the potential loss of something essential. The more ability you have to meet your own needs, and the more supportive people you have in your life to enrich it, the less desperate you will be to hang onto one particular relationship for dear life, most likely smothering it in the process.
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