...[read detail]? I had a best guy friend, who is my neighbor, we've been friends for a year, maybe a month or 2 ago we aadded oral sex, and mutual masturbation to it. Then we stopped and it was weird, we almost didnt hang out as often. then we did it one more time and that was the final time. But lately we haven't hung out as often anymore. In a way it's mostly my fault. I haven't tried, and he tried a couple times.
Well, he then started to make out with my other neighbor, and he was licking her boob infront of me. come on. well, she told me about all this, and she doesnt have feeling for him but he likes her.
And i think i might love this guy. SO its killing me. they stopped making out and fooling around, but it still effects me.
I also happen to be best friends with his cousin, and i love her haah, but she always wants to hang out with both of us and i just feel depressed to be around him, so i end up saying no .I miss hanging out with her, and i miss the way things use to be with him

So, i decided to write a letter to him, saying,
"Okay, i'm just going to be direct with you,
To be honest it upsets me,
abotu what you did with sarah,
Like i'm not blind. I saw you licking her boob,
and the hickeys on her neck were huge.
I can put things together.
Don't get me wrong, i love sarah,
But come on, we did what we did,
and then later you're making out with her.
I know when we did what we did we werent in a relationship or anything like that
Even if you do have feelings for her,
I just felt like since you guys werent dating or anything,
Its kind of like you were doing with her what you were doing with me,
Except we did way more, and we didn't kiss.
And none the less, she also just happens to be a neighbor.
Okay get mad at me for saying so,
But i can't change how i feel.
Also, i lied, it doesn't depress me to be around you because you pick on me, lol, you've been doing that for like a year, i'm use to it
It depresses me because everything has changed, in a way i tried to tell you by saying i miss hanging out,
But that wasn't really what i meant either,
I meant, when there wasn't anything sexual going on, we were just friends, like in the very beginning, that was the very definiton of friends.
And then we added sexualness to it, and i was cool when we were doing it and all, but when we stopped for that long period of time,
it made me think alot, and then we did it again and well Remember how i wouldn't give you a bj, well i didn't because i knew i would be mad at myself
if i did. And then with the whole sarah thing, i guess it upset me more also, because she was finally the first girl on our street that i was similar to
and could become really good friends with, [yeah theres rebecca but we aren't alike, even though we're friends], and then you guys did what you did,
I'm not mad at you or anything, But in a way it does upset me. "

But, i can't send it, why? because i promised sarah [the other neighbor] i wouldnt talk to him about it. she has no idea what effect htis has on me, or what him and i did, and i don't want her to know.


What do i do? I just can't take it anymore.
Uhm, i dont take pills, and all they will do is numb whats going on right now.