Enough with the Fuckin' Vampires

07-12-2010, 11:28 AM

Originally Posted by Boyo Jim

Can't we have more movies with naked chicks who AREN'T horribly slashed or torn to pieces once the clothes come off?

You're really missing The Clan of the Cave Bear, aren't you?

07-12-2010, 05:02 PM

Originally Posted by Chimera

You know, this idea that being bitten by a vampire is all sexy and cool would go straight out the window in a flash of screaming agony if they really did have a bunch of razor sharp teeth slashing into their jugular.

It's really stupid "Oh, he's the ultimate bad boy*, but he won't hurt ME!**" lies and self-delusion.

I'm sick of vampires too, but how is this any more self-delusional than the previous trope about vampires being evil monsters like in The Lost Boys?

Vampires do not exist. They are imaginary. The vampires of "Twilight" are no more or less delusional than the vampire in "Nosferatu." If the mythology changes to make vampires more like Edward Cullen than like Count Dracula, the mythology changes, but it's not "delusional." There are no vampires in real life. There is nothing to be "deluded" about.

**Marshmallow** · 07-12-2010, 05:36 PM

This is one of the worst results of the women's rights movement. It's OK though, we still have zombies.

07-12-2010, 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by Dung Beetle

I keep hearing about it, and as a horror buff I feel I ought to read it, and if it's good I don't want to miss it...but vampires again? Just thinking about it makes me tired.

Maybe I'm anemic.

They're more like fast zombies with the caveats that they can't stand light, and have a weakness in their chest where they can be shot or stabbed. They are strong, can jump and long lived, but not charming or really even very thinking.

It's a long book, and the first third is pretty good. After that it fast forwards 100 years, and then it's kind of annoying.

07-12-2010, 07:06 PM

Obligatory xkcd link.

Just in case you thought there might be something you could do about it.

DESPAIR!

07-12-2010, 10:24 PM

Just play "Night Moves" or "Turn the Page" -- you'll get rid of them.

(Bob Seger was prepared for this -- look at his band's name!)

07-12-2010, 10:31 PM

Originally Posted by Boyo Jim

I really don't get it. A three hundred year old delusion is no more respectable than last week's desusion.

Yep. As a literaly figure, yep. Now if Twilight has the staying power of Dracula or Lord of the Rings, it gains some respectability.

07-13-2010, 01:01 AM

I was a rabid horror movie fan and even I could never muster any interest in vampire stuff, it just seemed completely irrelevant.

Not following the vampire trend now but I'm reminded of Anne Rice fans from the 1990s who mixed it up with all kinds of "pagan" imagery and insisted on spelling it "vampyre" and had vampire themed weddings and were extremely serious and self-righteous about it all.

In my opinion the only good vampire movies are:

Nosferatu - both the German original and German remake
Vampyr - another German one from the 1930s
The Hunger - with David Bowie, surprisingly enough

They say Salem's Lot was good too but I never saw it.

07-13-2010, 05:17 AM

I like vampires....just not these vampires...

07-13-2010, 06:35 AM

I think we are rapidly approaching a Vampire media event horizon that will have a similar effect to the well known shoe event horizon on your civilization...

I'm planning to turn into a bat.

-XT

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