Thread: One Movie A Day Remix

Day 74: July 13th, 2010

Mystery Team



There's something fishy going on down at the sardine factory! I think it's fish!

Every so often you'd give a certain film an extra point here or there because you either love the people who do it, or respect the way they did it. Mystery Team gets some extra love from me on both of these accounts. Derrick Comedy is a crude sketch team that I find hilarious. One of them is better known for his role as Troy on Community. He also won an Emmy for writing on the hit show 30 Rock. Now he's taking that little bit of fame and helping to push this film get the recognition it deserves.

Mystery Team is a comedy that sends up those old detective film noir style films. It involves three guys who are still young at heart and in mind, solving mysteries. Like who took a bite out of old lady hummings pie, or who stole little lucy's bike. But when one girl comes by their booth and asks for their help, they find themselves way over their heads. She asks them to find out who killed her parents. A much shorter way of putting it would be a bunch of kids try to solve an adult mystery.

The material is well written, some jokes miss here and there, but a lot of it is funny. As I mentioned before, some of their stuff is crude, so expect it here. Having to fish out a ring out of a toilet full of chunky things I don't want to describe because a stripper peed it out in there....is just one scene that pops into mind. Most of the comedy comes from the dialogue interactions of the three main characters. Jason, Duncan and Charlie, all of them writer's of the film as well.

Shot on a low budget, the film looks pretty good for what it's worth. It's obviously no Hollywood fare, but it is professional enough for people to sit through it and not really notice. Again, all done on their own terms, so extra respect points there.

The script itself movies along nicely and if you're a fan of the genre, then you'll appreciate how this one unfolds. They poke fun at themselves numerous times so it is never to be taken seriously and yes, the film is a little predictable. Yet, for me it is forgivable, because they are poking fun at that genre and that genre always has those types of twists in the story.

Give this film a look, it might surprise you a little. If you don't like the trailer, or have no interest after watching it, then I would think the feature is not for you.

[rating]3.5[/rating]

Day 84: July 23rd, 2010

2012



We Were Warned.....About How Crappy This Movie Is.

2012 is a jumbled mess of a film. Roland Emmerich stated that for his last disaster flick he wanted to make it so that no other disaster flick could come after it. Well, mission accomplished because I don't want to see anymore. Upping the disaster scale to the entire world might do well for the special effects guys, buy not the paying viewer.

2012 has a very thin plot. People must survive. Is that a plot? It's more of a story. John Cusack is one of those people and he is with his ex-wife, his two kids and their step father, whom he hates. He gets the word that disaster is going to strike when a crazy old hippie guy, Woody Harrelson (big stretch) tells him about the world crumbling beneath our feet. This happens and the poop hits the fan. It seems that every single person in California dies, except for this one group. Why might you ask? Apparently Cusack, who is not only a writer, but a limo driver, has the skills and the vehicle power (a limo) to outrun global destruction.

Emmerich is not that bad of a director. He is often compared to Michael Bay for choosing big scale productions and not caring about story or characters. 2012 is the perfect example of this. In his earlier film, Independence Day, he gave us big explosions and aliens to shoot. Characters were lacking but the charisma of Will Smith, the character actor of Jeff Goldblum and Randy Frickin Quaid gave us something to smile at. John Cusack is wooden, Amanda Peet cries and a big Russian guy speaks with a thick accent. We are given zero, nadda, not even an inch of anything interesting to care about these characters. Why do I care if they live? Why do I want to spend the next 90 plus minutes with them. The answer is you don't. I wanted to spend my time with Woody I'm higher than a kite right now Harrelson.

The film is really just an excuse for the special effects guys to do their thing. Yet this is also a hit or miss. Sometimes it's actually entertaining and interesting to see the world fall beneath your feet. Other times it's painfully obvious how fake everything is. Check out the grocery store scene when the entire store literally splits in half. It's like the green screen was done in the 80's. The big event happens while Cusack and co and driving through the thick of it. They drive through buildings, jump obstacles, get covered in human feces. You read that right.

The children cry and are annoying. The older son doesn't seem to respect his dad, he calls him by his first name and not dad. Yet of course, because the world is about to end, he re- evaluates his outlook on his flawed hero of a father and calls him dad. He even risks his life to be with him. The daughter just tries to not wet her bed. The step father is a nice guy, yet for some reason who are told to hate him. The conclusion of his character is sad and a pathetic excuse to get the torn family back together. Am I really ruining anything for you?

Danny Glover is the president...remember the last time Hollywood had a black president, I think there was a giant asteroid heading towards the earth. Is Hollywood trying to tell us that we are doomed the day a black man becomes president. I wonder when that day will come...oops.

A side plot involving rich people being the ones who will be saved is tiresome. The film tries to villainize a rational man. 2012 tries to make you believe that it's a small world, all these people who meet at one point will meet again. This is suppose to be WORLD DESTRUCTION. There is another problem, too many characters to not care about. Are we really suppose to care about George Segal and the conflict with his son that lasts all about 3 minutes?

2012 is a blunder, a disaster of a disaster film. Bigger is not always better. It lacks the science, logic and intelligence it needs to be taken with any credibility. Universal Soldier, Stargate and Independence Day are all entertaining flicks in my mind. Everything since has been crap, let's just name those films off shall we? Godzilla? The Patriot? The Day After Tomorrow? 10,000 B.C. God, I forgot that film even existed. 2012 was a film to see in the theatres for the loud sound and big screen special effects. Now that the theatre time has passed, there is no point in seeing it.

[rating]1[/rating]

Day 22: May 22nd, 2010

Three Kings



We Three Kings Be Stealing The Gold.

Here is yet another film I've seen. Three Kings. So I'll take some words from my last review.

My feelings on the film haven't changed, it's still one funny and entertaining war film. Despite what happened behind the scenes, the film is something they should be proud of.

Sure the director is crazy and Mark Walhberg can't act, but the film works so well. The bleach bypass process they used makes the film stand out, it has a unique look that sticks in your mind even after the film. It's just a tad bit different than what people are use to, not enough to be too drastic, but just enough to make it memorable.

The film handles both drama and comedy really well and never confuses the two. The style of the film is what makes the film so interesting. It is incredible funny at times, and of course violent when needs to be. Russell is a good director and this is his best film, to date.

The bullet traveling through the body sequence holds the viewer in awe, think of any CSI episode. The way Russell decides to depict the action sequences in some scenes is also interesting, specifically when they first leave with the gold. There is a shoot out, which is not your average shootout. It's instead played up with simple camera movement and audio. You see the shooter, pan over to the victim, and you hear the sound of the bullet hitting them. No flash or over the top style, simple and effective.

Clooney gets billed as a movie star and sex symbol, but rarely gets praise for his acting ability. Here he shows what he can do, along side Wahlberg, who usually annoys, and Ice Cube, who usually bores. Spike Jonze makes an appearance as the fourth tag along as well.

Watch this film, it's one of the best of the recent years. It was what Jughead wanted to be before Jughead was even around.

[rating]4[/rating]

Thanks just watched The trailer of Mystery Team not one for me

Sniff... wonder if that is post whore I smell....

Day 23: May 23rd, 2010

The Story of Ricky



Man Stabs Himself... Rips Out Guts... Strangles Other Man With Said Guts.

I figured I would re-post what I wrote in my review of the film 3 years ago, since I feel exactly the same about the film now, as I did then.

A man with the strength of 30 plus men is sent to a corrupt prison. While there he fights the inmates and the warden to right all the wrongs.

I wouldn't be surprised if no one here has ever heard of this film. I myself only heard of it through the word of friend, who hasn't even seen it himself. After much debate I decided to throw caution to the wind and buy it. I'm not disappointed I did, but not thrilled about it either. Does this film have a deep and thought provoking plot? Oscar worthy performances, or amazing special effects? Heck no, far from it. What does it have you ask? Well, plot holes left right and centre, camp and cheese in the performance and the effects and more over-the-top scenes than a McG flick.

Why would anyone want to watch a film like this? Well, I bought it for one reason...and one reason only. The Violent Gore. For the longest time Peter Jackson's 'Dead Alive' was notorious for being "The Goriest Film Of All Time". Well, after seeing this flick, I don't know if that statement can still hold true. Although the gore in this film, which earned it a category III rating in Hong Kong, the first ever for a film with violence and not sex (think XXX), is above and beyond, it falls into the same category as Dead-Alive, it's too cartoony to be taken seriously. In any review of a horror flick that claims to be gory, I compare it to the likes of Dead-Alive, Evil Dead Cannibal Holocaust. I can add this flick to that list as well.

Let's go over what happens in this flick shall we. We first get a glimpse of what we have in store for us when a guy has his nose sliced off from a wooden lathe, block of wood with nails goes through a man's hands to the face, someone gets punched through their stomach, a saw like sword get stuck half way through a man's face, a knife skins a man's face, a cane pokes an eyeball out of it's socket, punch through the face, a punch to a man's hand explodes it, someone gets a mouth full of razors and then bitch slapped, a man crushes another's head with bare hands....and much much more. I didn't even tell you the goriest part yet.

I mentioned plot holes earlier and they are everywhere here. Such as why are the prisoners able to go in and out of their cells at will? Why is the secret grow-op being done out in plain sight. Also, when the ceiling is crushing you, why aren't you running out the giant hole in the wall right next to you? There are many many more, but the list is too long. These things do not really distract from the film, but add to the whole campy cheese feel that is oozing in this flick.

If you thought that Blade II, Kill Bill or The Matrix were as close to anime as we can get for live-action...look no further then Story Of Ricky. It is without a doubt, the closest thing to anime I have seen today. Which speaks volumes, with all the gory scenes being done to obvious look alike dummies. Look for the inside of someone's hand being made of styrofoam. Here is a movie that is perfect for the internet based game "Things I've Learned From This Movie". You can go on and on with such things as I learned that destroying gravestones is okay when you're learning kung-fu.

See the film if any of this interests you, don't see it if you are seriously disturbed. But if you do watch it, watch it with a bunch of friends, it makes the comedy so much better.

[rating]2.5[/rating]

Yeah, I deleted the rest. They were trying to get to ten post, so that they could post a link in the question thread. Both the question and link are legit, but the ten posts getting there were pathetic. It's not that hard getting to ten, while making them decent posts. Hell, go to the game section and play a bunch of title games. Lazy lazy, I say.
I'm also crankier these days.