Blonde joke

08-14-2010, 05:19 PM

Why do women wear belly button rings? They need a place to hang the air freshener.

A man needs a brain implant. His doctor finds a place that has brains for sale. The first brain the man sees if $50,000. Why so much he asked, the store owner replies, "this was Albert Einsteins brain, and as you know he was extremely smart". The next brain he looks at was $75,000. Why is that on so much the man says. "Oh that brain belong to Abraham Lincoln, and he was a great President". Way up high on the top shelf was a brain in a jar covered in dust. "What about that brain up there the doctor asked" Oh doctor, says the store owner, you will never be able to afford that brain! Why not? the doctor replies. "Because that brain belonged to a blonde" and its never been used.

Two peanuts were walking down the street and one of them was asalted.

08-14-2010, 06:50 PM

what do you call 50 blondes lined up ear to ear.

A wind tunnel.

08-15-2010, 03:01 AM

A blonde's car breaks down on the interstate one day. So she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Out of the trunk jump two men in trench coats who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in history of this highway occurs. It's not very long before a police car shows up. The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What the heck is going on here?"

"My car broke down," says the lady, calmly.

"Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?!" asks the cop.

"They're my emergency flashers!"

08-15-2010, 09:10 AM

A blond traffic cop pulls over a blond speeding in her pink Cadillac. "Let me see your drivers license please", she says. The blond driver fishes around in her purse for several minutes, until our blond traffic cop says "Its that thing with your picture on it". The blond driver finds her compact mirror, opens it and hands it to the cop. The traffic cop looks at the mirror, hands it back and says, "If you had told me you were a cop, I would have let you go five minutes ago".

08-15-2010, 11:46 AM

LOL hadn't ever heard that one befoe.

How come the blond wouldn't use a splash page?
Didn't want to get the computer wet.

Why did the Blond vote for McCain?
S/he thought he would be SugarCain.

Why did the blond join Digg?
She missed here dog.

What if Aerosmith were blond?
That would explain a lot of their 70s behavior.

08-15-2010, 02:42 PM

Old one:
What do you call a blonde wearing a dark wig?

Artifical intelligence.

What did the blonde say when she passed the YMCA?

"Look, they spelled 'Macy's' wrong!"

08-15-2010, 07:54 PM

Two blondes are trying to lead a donkey into a barn, but each time his ears touch the top of the door frame and he backs out. A brunette comes by and sees what is happening, so she tells the blondes to dig out the floor under the door. As the brunette walks away, one blond turns to the other and says "Isn't that just like a stupid brunette? It's his ears that are too long, not his legs!"

08-15-2010, 09:22 PM

now that's funny!

07-08-2012, 09:54 AM

Q: How many stupid blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A: Two - one to stand inside the bath, the other to pass the hair dryer.
Q: What's the diff between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: Did you hear about the dumb blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Q: What's a dumb Blondes favorite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch a cold?
A: No need for em to worry about blowing their brains out.
Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on top of her.
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champion.
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: What does a postcard from a blonde's vacation say?
A: Having a fantastic time. Where am I?
Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense?
A: Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say "Hello"
Q: Why are blonde's immune to Mad Cow Disease?
A: It only affects the brain.
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a natural blonde?
A: Blow in her ear - if natural, watch as she floats...
Q: What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?
A: Double-dumb.
Q: Where do you look for blonde's obituaries?
A: Under "Home Improvements."
Q: Why did the blonde go to the rehab center?
A: Because she thought she was hooked on phonics.
Q: What is foreplay for a blonde?
A: 30 mins of begging.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?
A: It's quite difficult opening the legs of an Ironing Board.
Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress.
Q: What would you do if a Blond threw a hand grenade right at you?
A: You'd pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Q: What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Mercedes?
A: You don't lend the Merc out to your friend.
Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A: Sooner or later they'll both end up in the gutter.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: She didn't want to waken the sleeping pills.
Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A: 144 blondes.
Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night.

**trustee** · 07-23-2012, 05:12 AM

All are cute and feels happy

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