Thread: "more Christian jokes! "

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.

Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?" "Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

A woman was at the beach with her children when her four-year-old son ran up to her, grabbed her hand, and led her to the shore, where a sea gull lay dead in the sand. "Mommy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to heaven," the mother replied.
Her son thought a moment and then said, "And God threw him back down?"

A nun was on her way home to the monastery after running errands in town. All of a sudden, a man jumped on her from behind a bush and raped her. After finishing the job, the rapist wondered what the nun would say upon returning to the monastery.

- Well, of course I have to tell the truth, that I was raped twice.
- WTF? Twice?
- Well... If you want to, said the nun and blushed...

A woman and her daughter were sitting in the sanctuary of their church listening to the pastor preach. After a long, slightly boring message, the pastor began to pray. "Lord, without you, we are but dust..." directly after he had said this, the little girl said in a rather loud voice "Mommy, what's butt dust?". Needless to say, the prayer was over.....

This isn't really Christian, but I heard it at church...


An old woman was leaving a grociery store when the alarm went off. She was quickly found to have been trying to steal a can of peaches. Later that month, in court, she was found guilty and asked by the judge, how many peaches were in the can. The woman replied, "There are normaly about 5." With that the judge sentanced her to 5 years, one for every peach she tried to steal. Then the woman's husband stood up and yelled, "She also stole a can of Peas!"

Ugh, jokes about rape - not funny.

yeh thats cool it could affend people