sexual desires for him? So, My boyfriend and I have TONS of issues but I love him dearly and we're trying to make it work.
I allways thought i was bisexual.
There have been times when I doubted this, but at no point did I ever think I was straight
I know for a fact that I am way more attracted to women
by a lot.
However, I hadnt tried intercourse with a man untill this past January.
Due to my easy going attitude
and extreme love for drugs and alchohol
my body count went up significantly after that.
I started having sex with a new guy ever other week.
never anything more perminant.
Ive never had a healthy relationship with a girl or a boy
though its hard because i dont know any bi or lesbian girls my age
so its hard for me to tell if it would be better with a girl.
my last girlfriend, i was madly in love with, but she got sent away to rehab when her mom caught us rolling on exstacy together in my friends living room after she had snuck out that night.
she has been in and out of rehab since.
i had meaningless sex with random guys for about three months before i met joe
my current bf.
hes helping me quit drugs
hes musical, dominant, hillarious, smart, witty,
all the things i love.
and though we have some issues,
we're working on it and doing well.
hes 23, jobless, cant drive, anddd lives off his parents
im the same way, but im 18.
it kind of works.
a big promblem of ours though, is that i wasnt attracted to him initialy
he immediatley liked me and asked me out frequently for the first few months we knew each other
i LOVED his personality but couldnt even bring myself to kiss him for a long time.
hes overweight, pale, really really hairy, bad teeth, ect. and it was hard to get over
but after we knew each other for about 3 months, i told him if he let me get drunk first id have sex with him. i hadnt had sex with anyone since i met him (other than his best friend, but that was the DAY i met him soo we just dont talk about it) and ive been loyal since wev been together, and no longer have any desire to have meaningless sex. anyways, back to the story, we had sex... FOR 6 HOURS. best sex i ever had. hes good, REALLY good. knows EVERYTHING i like...

only its not as simple as i thought

at first, i just had to close my eyes and think about girls when we were having sex
but that only worked for like, a month.
now i can NEVER get off when we're having sex.
i cant even get into it
and it doesnt even feel that good.
i start thinking about my random cramps, and **** i have to do, and things i should be doing
and just cant get in the mood.
i never get off anymore unless hes using his hands and im helping him.
and i still need to close my eyes and think of girls
i dont know if this makes me a lesbian
but i dont know how much longer this is going to work.
it sucks, because i do love my boyfriend...
i just wish he was a girl.
what should i do?
okay... id like it if people would stop mentioning my ex girlfriend in such a manor... i loved her very much, and newsflash we didnt even have intercourse. and im not a sex addict thank you,... i love her so much. way more than i love my bf... but we could never be together. she just tried to kill herself because she cant imagine her life with out drugs... and it hurts to hesar people say i only wanted sex from her. i dont even like sex. i only had sex when i was drunk before i met my bf.. and i know thats terrible, but still... sex isnt that great at all in my opinion. id be perfectly happy being with my bf if we didnt have sex