i think i was molested but i have no clue who it could have been. i dont think it could be my dad because he was kinda lazy after work and just slept all day and i dont feel like it was him really, but idk what other guys i was ever alone with. i have some weird random memories like i remember being at church in this kids worship class and this guy scared me so much that i always cried, i loved that class @ first but i stopped going because he scared me SOOO much, he was so creepy, and in that class i remember he would lean on my shoulders and it made me uncomfortable and he said you make a nice arm rest. it was weird and he was hurting me because he had all his weight leaning on me. i forgot all about him until recently and now i feel like it had to be him but the thing is i dont think i was ever alone with him, i believe there was always other kids and maybe another guy helping, i cant really remember though(although i know all the adults were guys). i know most people say just forget about it and move on, but i HAVE to know!! its already screwed up my life and i want to know the truth, i actually think id feel better. the reason main i feel like i might have been molested is the way i feel about sex. usually i feel it is disgusting and i wish it didnt exist, then suddenly ill want to have sex really bad then i want to kill myself and hate sex again, its almost like im bipolar about it or somthing its hard to explain though. but mostly the thought of it makes me feel sick ughhi hate this so much i just want to know the truth so i can move past italso this is gonna sound weird but being horny really upsets me so i just pee until it goes away cuz it makes the feeling go away for awhile, so somtimes i will stay up all night forcing myslef to pee, its the only thing that seems to work, its so embarressing =[ (please no mean comments this is hard for me) and the most embarressing thing for me is that when i was little i at times wanted to have sex with anything living, i was so screwed up, and i was only in 2nd grade, i also felt like i wanted to be in control, idk its hard to explain and im embarressedplease help, and DONT say just dont think about it, maybe most people wouldnt want to know but i need to know the truth also he would laugh at me when i cried i think i also remember him holding me and he wouldnt let go, and i remember thinking he was changing my diaper but he was just a teacher for 30min, so why would he do that?you dont always remember being molested because your mind blocks it out, but thanks anyway...