The facts. I stupidly got pregnant when I was 23. The father who I had known for years turned out to be violent and unfaithful and I ended up leaving. I was on a student visa at the time and therefore could not get any public funding. I went to live with my mother and things are terrible. When I was working I would regularly give her money and I was out of the house most of the time so it was not so bad.

Now I am not working because I am waiting for my work permit - I have been waiting 9 months so far but my lawyers tell me 'be patient, these things take time'. In the meanwhile I am treated like a complete burden at home. She works night shifts so during the day we are both in the house if I need to go anywhere I have to ask for bus fare. I had some savings but in the 9 months they have been used up.

I do all the cooking but I am not allowed to buy any groceries because 'I will waste the money on expensive things'. I do all the washing up, the laundry and tidying up. I do not mind so much but the thing is I do not even get a 'thank you'. My mother will eat the dinner I made for her in the living room then just walk away and leave her plate there. Or if she takes it to the kitchen she will place it inside the basin with all the food, fork and knife, cup in there. If I do not bring food to her she will not eat and then complain 'oh, I'm starving'. She will not go downstairs and pour herself cereal for breakfast. If there are leftovers in the fridge she will not heat them up. She will just wait for me to do it for her.

It is impossible to talk to her about anything and she is so passive aggressive. I know I am a burden to her but as soon as I am able to work I will get out of here. She wants me to work illegally but if I get caught then I will lose everything I have worked for so far and could even be deported. I would rather wait for the official decision as I am highly qualified and could get a good job when everything is sorted out.

On top of it all she teaches my child to disrespect me and the child is very very spoilt and horrible but she does not even see this.

Please help with advice.
thanks for your answer Chris. Yes, I have acknowledged I made bad decisions in the past but what can I do about it now? I paid for the lawyers out of my savings. It is not possible to get any public assistance and I am not allowed to work. Of course I acknowledge I am making payment 'in kind' but my question is what can I do about her being so spiteful.