I need a little constructive criticism please

Can you feel
It crushing against your chest?
Can you feel me?

It was all a blur
All painstakingly clear
There was nothing to do but hold my hand

Clenched tightly
So soothing, so real
By just the instinct of the hand

All a fading memory now
Everything's distant
Compared to this nothing

This heart is dead
So far past beating
Can you feel it in your hand?

Half of me
belongs to you
Laying in the murky depths

Your bright eyes
Rot beneath the shattered glass
Decay and rust with the metal frame

Love struck buckles
Refused to let you go
As your lungs slowly died

Black waters lit aflame
While holding you in an oily bath
To lonely to release

My love for you
Was no match for its
As you were sinking to oblivion

Why couldn't it love me too?
Hold me forever in its grasp
Buckles shouldn't love the innocent so well

Screaming away th emptiness
The nightmare brings
I see your face etched under my eyelids

I hear you screaming out your own fears
Begging me to follow your sweet voice
So we won't be so alone


Thanks for reading!