My sexuality is confusing me?

[Lyra]

Okay, so here is my problem. I know I'm definately attracted to girls (I'm a girl) and consider myself to be gay, however I'm not entirely unattracted to men. But I'm not bisexual. Basically I am primarily attracted to girls but I find that on very rare occaisions I can develope small crushes on guys- there's a term I read about once, 'homoflexible' which is pretty much that. Its someone who can be defined as gay but isn't totally against an encounter with the opposite sex (heteroflexible being the opposite) With women I love pretty much everything about them. The natural softness and of their bodies, their voices, their skin, breasts, etc. wheras I don't find most things about men attractive. I'm not attracted to their bodies, the way they sound or anything really. On occasions I might find things about a guy attractive (that being those rare occasions I get crushes on guys- usually more to do with admiration than romance) but overall not really, EXCEPT (and this is quiet embarrassing) penises. Quiet often I get VERY aroused at the thought of them. I love vaginas aswell, they do arouse me but not QUIET as much :/ its very confusing becuase I love and am VERY attracted to the entire female anatomy, but I get SO turned on by just this one male body part.
I know it seems as though its not a big deal, I can fall in love and have proper long term relationships with women, but satisfy my desires for men with quick flings and one time encounters. My problem with this however is that I'm not comfortable having 'flings'. I'm the type of person who needs to be in a meaningful relationship with a person before engaging in sex and sexual acts. I find it to be very meaningful and I can't bring myself to do something so big with some random (I'm not against that sort of thing at all, its just how I feel personally)
I'm just in need of some advice on how to deal with this. I'm 19 and (embarrassingly) a virgin (Is that weird??). I feel as though if I don't fill this desire with a guy at some point I'll be missing out on something pretty significant, but as I've said, I can't have sex without a relationship, but I SO want sex with a man but not a relationship. Perhaps I'm just curious about the opposite sex? Either way I feel the need to experience a guy, but here enters this problem again.
What I want from girls: Relationship + Sex
What I want from guys: Sex - Relationship
What I feel I need before sex: Relationship
What I can't do without a relationship: Sex
Its very confusing. And just an additional little query, what's considered actual sex with lesbians? I know that seems a silly thing to ask but I'm concerned that when the time comes for me to have sex (I want my first time to be with a girl thats for sure) I'll be wondering whether or not I'm still a virgin -.- (they should really cover the gay stuff in sex ed in school its not fair!)
So anyway, does anyone have any idea of what I should do about this 'penis' thing? My friends see me as very innocent but this whole thing makes me feel kind of the opposite :/ what can I do to satisfy myself (aside from porn and masterbation XP) without throwing away my morals??
Please and thank you :3

[Wild Bill]

Check out both women and men. Please be careful. It is very easy to get in trouble.

[KING]

dear, i think maybe you are just bi-curious. I supposed that you are still at young age. Talk to someone abt your problems. Or maybe you can try out with both a ger and a guy. then ask what yourself what you really enjoy and what you want.