The whatsupdoc joke thread

[Lithium09xox]

.

[debjani]

A couple from Wigan took in an 18-year-old girl as a lodger. She asked if she
could have a bath, but the woman of the house told her they didn't have a
bath, although if she wanted to, she could use a tin bath in front of the
fire.

"Monday's the best night, when my husband goes out to darts," she said.
The girl agreed to have a bath the following Monday.

After her husband had gone to the pub for his darts match, the woman
filled the bath and watched the girl get undressed. She was surprised to see
that the lass didn't have any pubic hair. She mentioned this to her
husband when he came home. He didn't believe her, so she said:
"Next Monday, when you go to darts, leave a little early and wait in the
back garden. I'll leave a gap in the curtains so you can see for yourself."

So the following Monday, while the girl again got undressed, the wife
asked:
"Do you shave?"
"No," replied the girl. "I've just never grown any hair down there. Do you
have hair?"

"Oh, yes," said the woman, and she pulled up her nightdress and showed the
girl that she was really generously endowed in the hair department.....very
generously indeed.
The girl finished her bath and went to bed.

Later that night, when the husband came in, the wife asked him, "Did you
see it?"
"Yes," he said, "but why the hell did you have to show her yours."
"Why ever are you worried about that?" she said. "You've seen it often
enough before."

"I know," he said, "but the darts team hadn't!"

[michelle.]

That's a great rack *dribble*

[Umm Zekiya]

An Italian grandmother is giving directions to her grown granRABon who is coming to visit with his wife.

"You comma to de front door of the apartmenta. I am inna apartmenta 301.

There issa bigga panel at the front door. With you elbow, pusha button 301.

I will buzza you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with you elbow, pusha 3.

When you get out, I'mma on the left. With you elbow, hit my doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounRAB easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?

"What . . . .. .. You coming empty handed?"

[!-kristi-!]

I don't like Krispy Kreme, they're this kind of weird fake pseudo food. If it says "cream" it's some sort of bizarre marsh mellow stuff. "Jam" is strange red viscous goo. Chocolate is sweet but has no flavor.

I used to like them when they first started opening stores here but after having a few I resized that they're just too fake.

[Blue Fashion]

Young Emma was telling Mum about her day at school.

"The boys think my cartwheels are really brilliant and keep asking me to do it again", she said.

"They just want to look at your knickers", said her Mum.

"I know. That's why I hid them in my bag".

[Kismet]

A guy goes to the county council for a job.
The interviewer asks "Have you any allergies?"
"Yes caffeine" he replys.
"Are you disabled in anyway? asks the interviewer.
"Yes" he replies, "I was in the Army and a borab exploded near me and blew off both my testicles".

"Ok, your hired. Hours are 8 till 3, but you can start at 10"

Confused the man asks "Why 10?"

Interviewer answers "This is a council job, the first 2 hours are spent drinking coffee and scratching our ********, no point you coming in".

[softballgurl319]

You must be a 'Dunkin' man Lawrenzini......?

[~~Wishing~~~]

Attendance call on the first day back at school in Manchester.

The teacher began calling out the names of the pupils:

"Mustafa El Ekh Zeri?"

Here."

"Achmed El Kabul?"

"Here."

"Fatima Al Chadoury? "

"Here."

"Abdul Alu Ohlmi?"

"Here."

"Mohammed Ibn Achrha?"

"Here."

"Mi Cha El Mey Er" Silence in the classroom.

"Mi Cha El Mey Er"

Continued silence as everyone looked around the room. She repeated,

"Is there any child here called Mi Cha El Mey Er?"

A boy arose and said, "Sorry teacher. I think that's me.

It's pronounced Michael Meyer."

[Mariela]

I have been known once or twice (maybe 8 times) to catch the train to Paddington just to buy these baby's!