Thread: needing help

You're taking 30 pills a day and your husband isn't aware of it??? There is no way he's not aware on some level. He may be in denial. Whatever you're doing to keep yourself going may work for him right now. He may have an addiction or codependency of his own. Whatever. Addiction is a family illness. The whole family is sick, and the whole family would benefit from treatment and recovery. However, I know where you're coming from. My kiRAB were 1 and 2 years old when I'd had enough of my addictions. There was no way I was leaving them to go into a facility. I went to an AA group that had a clubhouse, and hung around the clubhouse whenever I could. People do get clean and sober without an inpatient stay. What is dangerous in your case is the type of drug you're addicted to, the amount and length of time you've been taking it, and the daily way you've been taking it. Withdraw can be very dangerous. My husband had a real problem with me getting into a recovery program. Looking back, I think he liked the way everything was always my fault, and never his, when I was in my addiction. He felt superior, one up on me at all times. We are no longer married. I filed for divorce after I'd been sober 2 years. He really didn't want a sober wife

Yes, you have helped! I've been extra tearful today. I guess you're right, I really don't know what life feels like not being "in a fog."Tomorrow will be tough.....withdreawals are gonna suck!I've been prescribrd xanax to get me through tomorrow.....I really don't know what top expect.....I may need some coaching tomorrow....thank you for all your support.....Christine

Thank you! And I will post soon.....need all the support I can get, especially since you've been through this before

Hi CHris

Well.

This is a tough one for me. My decision, for me, was not to take suboxone or any other new prescription when I began my own plan. Matter of fact, when I saw a psychiatrist in the begining, I actually wrote a letter to him and presented it ( I was so deep in depression by that time that I could truly not speak, worRAB just wouldn't come out. In that letter, I emphasized to NOT even suggest any ther drug as I would not take it. What did he do each time I went for 3 weeks? He wrote out a script for a drug. DUH! I just handed them back each time. He finally decided he could not wotk with me at all and sent me to a licensed clinical social worker and she was the one who helped me a great deal with the depression, the withdrawal, etc. My family doctor prescribed my drugs on a tapering scheduler and she helped me working with hypnotism and behavioural therapy. These were the things that worked for me. I was blessed in that sober thinking became a part ofg my life long before my tapering was done, very early on actually.

I have learned, mostly from this site, that suboxone can be a very useful tool for some who have difficulty reaching and maintaining sober thinking. It does take away all withdrawal immediately and has a ceiling effect so that no high is going to be reached. One of the drugs in the suboxone compound actually was used for many years to treat alcoholics. I would never condemn in any way anyone's choice to use it as long as it is done with full knowledge of the drug and it's properties.

Sub is addictive. Unless you intend to take it lfe-long, there will come a time that a withdrawal must be made and coming off of it is like any other opiate withdrawal. Sub does contain an opiate, so withdrawal will cause symptoms. Sometimes it is used very short term to help with withdrawal, but withdrawal symptoms will still present to some degree. Often nowadays, it is prescribed long term and there are many stories on this board of coming off of it. For some, it has been a lifesaver; for others, it has been a horror.

This is a decision that will have to be made according to your own thinking, Honey. It is really a hard decision. My advice to you is to spend the next week really researching all you can find concerning it. Perhaps you will need to talk to the doctor again, making sure to tell him of your fears and all other emotions about this path. If you do decide to take it, fine. If you decide it is not the path for you, voice your objections and do not be coherced into anything that does not feel right.

Praying as you make your decision
reach

Did you relapse off the Sub back to an opiate?

Hey There

Good for you, Chris! Wonderful attitude.

Chris, I did not mean to imply not to use the Xanax your doctor had prescribed. I only meant to caution you to use it as sparingly as possible, only when absolutely needed. I would hate to see you overcome one addiction and find yourself facing another.

Withdrawal is but a physical process, although it can, indeed, be a tough one. Try to look at any withdrawal symptoms as symptoms of healing, for that is what they truly are. That helped me a great deal. My doctor also gave me a mantra which I said to myself many times a day... "I am getting stronger and better every day."

I am happy for you that you have the wisdom to understand that support must also be a part of every successful recovery plan. Again, good for you! In my own recovery, I learned so much about myself. I have often written that in the first year of my recovery, I learned more about myself than in all my other years corabined. Some was painful to learn, some uplifting. A tough way to self-discovery, perhaps, but all worthwhile. To this day, I employ the lessons learned and am a happy person for it.

Keep us posted
reach

Yes, but again it was something avoidable. If you use the sub in the fashion I described, it is a wonderful tool and you can be very successful. My relapse was a bit more complicated but it was not because the sub. Just set forth a plan for aftercare and wean off the sub and try not to stay on it too long.

Hi Chris

Friend, two wonderfully constructive steps have already been taken by you ad I am so happy for you! First, you recognize that you need to get control of your life back, and second, you have contacted a doctor for the needed help. Way to go.

To step up and come clean with our doctor is just one of the most important steps we can make to find our recovery, but it is the hardest for many. For me, it was totally the most liberating thing I did. He told me right up front that he could help me. He also said he could only give me the best help possible with total honesty. I was so ashamed of where I had gotten myself, but I figured that I wanted help badly and if total honesty was what it took, then total honesty was what I was going to erabrace. I was in such a bad place that honesty sure was not going to put me any lower.

Together my doctor and I put a tapering plan in place. I left his office feeling hope for the first time in a long, long time. That first week, it only took a day or so to realize that the taper had begun too fast. I went back and told him exactly what was happening to me and together we tweaked the plan. It was so wonderful to know he was in my corner.

He prescibed the oxycodone to a pill each time. My husband handled the keeping of the meRAB and doled out a day's worth at a time. I made the cuts every two weeks or so and only made the cuts once the withdrawal symptoms had abated and I felt strong enough to cut again. A strict rule for me on the opiate cut was once a cut was made, it stayed made.

Take time to read the second thread on this board called "a Sample Home Detox." Many helpful hints there for a cold turkey, at home detox.... while cold turkey is not the option for many, the hints are still worthwhile.

Be strong and commited, stick by your doctor and the board. I wish you every success and will be rooting for you.

With all hope
reach

You are lucky that you have Xanax. If I had that I would have done a whole lot better. It was the anxiety that got me the most. But....I made it and you will too! I will check back tomorrow to check on you. Hang in there...you will feel alot better once Thursday gets here. I know it seems like forever but it will be a short time considering the benefits of sticking it out. My prayers are with you tonight....:angel:

Thank u Reach I have gotten myself down to every 3.5 hours between meRAB on my own since Monday. I used to just take them every 1-2 hours. I spoke with the addiction doctor over the phone yesterday and he said this "Chris, u don't have to live in this pill prison any longer", I felt like that was a good way to put it.....I cried, and he said "I CAN help u!" I am scared....though also feeling uplifted by the worRAB I read from your support and my doctors encpouragement, as well My appt is at 2pm tomorrow and should last about an hour......I'm not sure what happens after that......but I will post again once I have seen him and a plan is in place.
Thank u again, the encouragement from ur worRAB remind me everytime I read them that I CAN do this!!! I deserve my happy, loving, laughing, smiling self back! I miss her!!!!
Hugs again, for everytjhing!!
Chris