Thread: Can I be in "recovery" while taking Suboxone?

I just want to say that I agree with jamjam, 100%. I have been on Suboxone for a year and a half and it saved my life. I am 'me' again.

Jamjam, I couldn't have said it better myself.

Sincerely,
emsmom

In my opinion you can absolutely be in recovery while taking subs. I am new to the program only taking subs for 5 weeks, but after a lifelong struggle with addiction to opiates I can honestly say I feel this has been the best dicision of my life. I am 47 and I cannot believe the difference between 5 weeks ago when I was addicted to morphine and codeine and now. I still have occassional cravings which are usually triggered by something that reminRAB me of my drug use or I am late taking my dose. I am learning to control those but. Recovery is not just being clean its learning to be clean. Subs give you the ability and stability to deal with the reason you were addicted in the first place. I was concerned at first about getting hooked on them and having the same issues when it comes time to get off them, but compared to my life several weeks ago I am prepared to take that chance and use the time to grow. Taking drugs to deal with your issues stunts you from growing emotionally and it takes time to catch up but it can be done. Best of luck and stay strong. I wish they had computors and websites like this when I was younger

Hi Kew
Day three of higher dose and switch to subutex is working. It feels like someone turned down the volume in my head and an overall calm has assended upon me. Thank God is all I can say. I dont want to be like that again if I can avoid it. Thanks for your worRAB of encouragement. You not kidding about the rollercoaster. Even though I am going through all this crap I still feel way better than I did two months ago. It gets hard at times juggling appointments, picking up my dose and working fulltime. However it is all worth it if I can live a life free of addiction which is I guess all our hearts desires. Its also true about having to realise that some of the stuff we feel is "Normal." We ahave spent so many years avoiding feeling any way we can that we dont really know how to cope with feelings. It is normal to have days that are not so good at times. If you are anything like me when those days come I initially panick and the thought patterns kick in saying run run run. If you take the time to re program those thought patterns you can quite often abort depression or anxiety or both. I hear you about the messages received as a child. I am 48 and my mother can still bring me to my knees with her worRAB. My dad died recently and his worRAB still echo in my head at times. You are useless, no good, wont amount to anything etc, etc. It is hard dam hard to re program all that crap that has been put in our heaRAB. I try to look at my mum now as being old and I know she never really meant to hurt me same as my dad and I dont want to hang onto the past. It is hard but can be done. It shows you how much influence you can have on your children. That in itself brings a whole new string of "if Only's" for me. I know I have hurt my kiRAB badly because of my addiction and mental illness. But as my son said to me not that long ago (he has Bi-Polar) "Mum we adults now and responsible for ourselves so stop beating yourself up for what happened in the past." Wise worRAB! But still so hard to forgive yourself! Take care and ride safe!:wave:

Heh Kim again am sorry i`ve nae been in touch for a wee while been busy at college and my voluntary work. Just wanted to say HELLO and hope you are well. Take Care. Iain.:wave:

Hi Iain,
Thanks for the supportive comments. We are are in this struggle together, aren't we? It really is a small world out there. You in Scotland, ILB in Australia, I'm in Alaska, wow! I agree that I'm emotionally defrosting. Sometimes, my emotions are so wound up that I kind of just freeze and don't feel anything. That's probably some kind of survival mechanism since I'm sure I'd go nuts if I had to deal with all of these emotions all of the time. I kind of feel "stuck", that's the only way I can describe it. Stuck in life, stuck in my job, stuck in my emotions & actions. I want to try and become unstuck but I just don't know how. Right now I'm just trying to get up each day and get through the day with a little happiness. Then, I'm ok. I know it will take time. I feel inside like I need to be "doing" something and I don't know what that something is. I feel restless....I know when I was doing the drugs, I felt happy, or at least I thought I was happy just sitting around, hanging out and doing nothing. That doesn't work for me anymore...just even on the weekenRAB when I've done all my chores and stuff i'm supposed to do...what to do next? I'm just anxious and needing to DO something yet I don't know what...does anyone ever feel this way? It's about driving me crazy and I don't know how to handle it!!

KEW

Iain, my friend,
Thanks for checking in. I'm digging down deep into my grief and really feel like some healing has been going on. Each day is different, can't tell when the tears will come or even when I'll feel ok....guess I just have to go with it and live in the moment like I've heard all my life. Now it finally makes sense. Glad you are well with school and doing some volunteer work, that is great. Hope you're feeling happy and healthy and that the new year is starting off right. I'm determined to make this year a better one than last, at least for the things I have control over....Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change......take good care!

Karen

Hi Iain
As usual your sayings are great and so very true. You make me laugh
My husband and I have been married for 28 years and I believe that is worth fighting for but you are so right when it comes to my recovery. That has to come first for now and if at the end of this fight we are still together then so be it, or I am literally going to walk towarRAB death. This time round I managed to stay away from IV use but I know beyond a doubt that if I relapse again I will not be so strong. Its kind of crazy how much time you use thinking about doing something that you know will eventually kill you? I guess that is addiction. The last three years have been difficult. I have spent so much time trying to assist others in my family deal with the death of our brother and father that I forgot about myself hence the reason I am now on opiate substitution.
As far being able to help you already are, you and Kew have been literally lifesavers. Before I sturabled upon this web site I was seriously contemplating suicide. I just could not face the battle against addiction again and everything seemed so dam hopeless. Then I started reading others stories and realised that I was on a major self pity trip and definitely not alone. Even though we don't really know each other its weird I feel close to you guys. I believe it was meant to be that I found this web site when I did and like you said just knowing that someone is taking the time to read and respond to your messages helps lessen the isolation you can feel when battling this demon. We may be many many miles apart but we are close in spirit. Even the smallest of efforts can have a major impact on the future for someone. I too wonder what the future will bring for the next generation with so much anger and unforgiveness out there. But I also know there is allot of good people around willing to share a piece of themselves to help someone else and that has got to be worth something in the whole scheme of things. Enjoy college that's awesome I'll be thinking of you all the way from Aussie land:wave: take care stay strong and keep smiling "Happy Birthday"
ILB

Heh Heh just a message tae say HELLO:wave: don`t have a whole heap of time am sitting in one of my classes at college and probably should be studying so am going now hope yer doin ok Karen. Take Care. Iain:dizzy:

I said this to Kew "holding hanRAB around the globe" amazing.
We must always try to keep our spirits alive, there are constantly things in every day life that want to do nothing more than defeat our spirit, these things have been all to present in my life lately partly due to my own doing getting involved with people (a girl) i`d no business getting involved with and ending up being hurt this is what happen`s when you put you trust in someone, it`s made me question my belief in people and has made me return to trusting only myself, this has a side affect of creating what seem`s like a very lonely excistance. The torment that life has a habbit(maybe not the best choice of word) of dealing me always seem`s unfair and i end up thinking the chaos of my using life is more appealing, this is what i call magical thinking, and this is the way i`ve been thinking lately.
WHY CAN`T LIFE BE, MAYBE NOT SIMPLE BUT FORGIVING? If you can answer this question your a better person than i could ever hope to be.
Guess i`ve got to just remeraber and be strong all drugs ever gave me was an escape from reality, i have to accept that reality may not always be what you expect it to be.
This is Iain Donald signing off from the other side of the world, Take care out there troups it`s a jungle.

I'm still here and plugging away at recovery. Some days are hard, others are easy...guess that's life. I'm still taking 16mg of Subutex daily. It does feel as if I need the sub, I still think about the drugs, not constantly obsessing but missing the "high" and euphoria that I once had from them, albeit it was fleeting and coming down was miserable...I tend to think of something as unbelievably great when I'm deprived of it. I realize I've got LOTS of thinking errors to overcome. I'm trying to find some kind of substitute for the hydrocodone, something to make me feel good, great. Maybe there is nothing, maybe the problem is that I'm looking for something that doesn't exist and instead of trying to find it outside of myself, I need to look inward. Sometimes it seems so exhausting...today is an overwhelming day. How are other folks doing in their recovery???

KEW