Thread: You can't fall asleep smoking - move or rehab

Hello to all~

It's been awhile since I have posted, I finnally have some positive news! My daughter is back and claiming to be ready to get clean. We are currently detoxing her and I am desperate to find a suitable rehab. There are not many in this area and i truly want her in a facility that is all women.

Praise God! I had the most difficult time Saturday night, the saddest and most weak that I have felt in some time. This mood carried over into Sunday. That's when I began randomly began dialing the nurabers that I had previously blocked from her cell phone just trying to get someone to share some information on her whereabouts and well being. She actually answered one of the nurabers that I called. I was shocked at first to hear her voice. I found out that she had been out of town but was back. She began telling me that she wanted to clean up and had a plan. The plan included her being in a hotel room alone for 6 or so days with enough heroin to wean herself off. Then she wanted to find a doctor that would put her on zuboxin and find a counsler. She wanted me to provide the hotel room as well as the heroin. Amazingly enough, she was making enough sense to me and frankly I was encouraged that I was doing something different than just waiting. I immediately refused to have part of supplying money for heroin but I was toying with the idea of the hotel room. After speaking to some other people who where thinking a lot more clear than I was at the time, I decided that I really needed to go back to the old plan, which was let me know when she was ready for rehab. She was mad and threatened to go back to the no contact. I let her be and then heard from her the following night via a text that simply said "What's up mom?" After not much time she told me that she really needed to get out of where she was at and would go to rehab. That same night she got a ride to her grandmothers and the next day(yesterday) we took her to a doctor to begin medical detoxing. I was surpised that she was prescribed a low dose oxy to get off the heroin. This is all so strange to me.
Please continue to pray for us. For my daughter to strong dealing with the detox pain, both physical and physicological. For staying committed to getting and staying clean. Please pray for me for guidance through this new territory for me. I need to stay strong especially when/if she is weak. Pray for mom who is with her 24/7 right now ( will be there after work and in the evenings.) My mom is so scared, she does not know what to expect from hour to hour.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me. I truly appreciate the support and prayers.

God Bless
Mydaughtersmom

I keep hearing how strong I am, it's not what I feel. I feel fractured, about 1 second away from completly falling apart. I operate minute by minute out of fear for her life. I try to think of any and all angles to create a roadblock for her that will cause her no choice but to stop. The tears are always one blink away, makes the close proximity of my coworkers a difficult place to be everyday. I get the 2:30 am creepies every night that wake me up in a drenching sweat...doing anything normal feels foreign(shopping, eating, working out and god forbid if someone makes me laugh). Where is it that people see the strength that they speak of?

mydaughtersmom

we did the intervention Friday night. I thought the only positive outcome could be that she choose rehab immediately. I was wrong. She listened to each letter as it was read and in the end choose not to go. As she was leaving the interventionist asked her to talk privately. They choose the patio at my moms and she felt like she had privacy but we could most of the discussion taking place. She was angry because we lied to her to get her there. Money was offered as a ploy to insure that she would show. She felt betrayed. I don't feel bad about this because thats how she has survived most recently.
In her long "private" discussion she revealed a lot. She does know that she has a problem...big nuraber 1 step! She is aware of the cost of rehab and does not want me to spend the money when she knows it wont work until she is ready, she knows it wont work if she is not ready. She said she has been given a lot to think about...another good statement. She asked specifics about what takes place in rehab...i like that too. She asked for the phone nuraber of the interventionist during the conversation, acknowledging the fact that she is cut off from family phone calls until she is ready to commit to rehab. It was not a loud disorderly event at all and at the end she hugged her best friend expessed much love and when she left our interventionist walked out with her. They seemed to have created some sort of bond in this brief hour. He told us that the very last thing she said was to tell me and her grandmother that she loved use. He sent her a text shortly after she left and she replied shortly after. She thanked him for his time and knowledge and sent him this message "Thank you from the bottom of my heart, its nice to talk to somone who really gets it and has been there. I appreciate u coming and lending your time and your knowlege. I promise when i'm ready ill be calling you. You say you already care about me well I already trust you. Thanks for being so cool" He promised her that he would come back here and pick her up when she is ready to go.
So, no it did not go the way i hoped for but i am more hopful than before. I believe that she has found a connection that she trusts. He will be communicating with her on a regular basis and will forward information back to me. I am still strong and am not falling apart "yet" I believe that we have made the first step in her recovery and when she chooses rehab it will be a much better experience and have a much more beneficial outcome than if she had succorabed to the pressure of the consquences.
I know i am in for some personal battles here. I was going to cut off her cell if she choose not to go but I can not do that now because she neeRAB the communication with him. I will have to be very strong not to try to reach out to her as i have been doing daily. I have to follow through on all of the consequences put in my letter to her which include no contact until she is ready for rehab. Pray for me to stay strong and for her to "get ready"

mydaughtersmom

I am going through a situation with my husband that is he's a addict that won't quit this time,,been going through on and off for 2 yrs now... and i am bout ready to make him leave... your a strong woman...wish i was as strong as you have shown so far.. then maybe we wouldn't go through this...

I am really sorry to hear that!!! Did he give you a reason???

This has to be so frusterating for you! I really feel bad you are going thru this and I hope you keep letting us know how things pan out!

Hang in there honey!!!

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Thank you so much for continuing to think about and pray for us and for starting the prayer with "Please let today be the day". You are right about celebrating being difficult...that did not happen. I wish the only termoil that I had going on was my daughter but it seems to be coming at me from all sides right now and my coping skills are wavering greatly.

Again, thank you and God bless you for remerabering me.

mydaughtersmom

mydaughtersmom,
WOW! It seems like you've got everything under control here. Good For You! I love how you said that "failure is not an option". Its so funny because i say that line all the time , "Its not an option!" lol Seriously, i have an 18 yr son & i say that to him all the time lol I'm so happy to hear that you are right on top of things & that you're armed & ready to pull out the "Big Guns" if need be! I think that you're doing a wonderful job & you should be very proud of yourself & one day soon you will be rewarded with a huge "Thank You Mom" from your daughter! I will be praying for you & that everything goes as planned for this "intervention" with your daughter. You certainly are & have been going about it all in the right way. You are standing strong & firm in a no-nonsense kind of way & this is good because in this case "tough love" is a must! Very good job mom. I'll be praying extra hard for you & daughter. Please keep us posted. Take care.

Dear Mydaughtersmom.... I've been reading a few posts on this thread, and I do realize you are going through the same thing I am putting my mom through. Well, what I was putting my mom through. Granted, My addiction wasn't as severe as heroin and oxy, I was only addicted to marijuana and alcohol. My mom never gave me the choice to wanna quit or not. I'm only 15, so I live with her, and have nowhere else to go. After several months of losing friend's and family, and hurting my mother, I came to realize that I needed help. I accepted the help my mom was giving me. Trust me, it will still be one of the hardest things you and her will go through together. I actually had a relapse, but I've been clean ever since it. I still wish I could relapse everyday. It takes a lot of work. And I know how hard it is for me. It has to be a lot harder for her, considering the drugs she was on. I do hope everything goes well for you. Bless your family.

Mom,
I am sorry to hear about all the problems surrounding you right now! Like the situation with your daughter is not bad enough! I am so sad for you honey!

I wish there was something I could do for you to help you out in some way. I hate to hear the saddness in your worRAB.

Happy Easter Mom. Hang in there and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers!
HUGS!

mydaughtersmom,
Thanks for the update. I'm glad to hear that you're still holding up strong. Although its not what we were hoping for, atleast its still a step closer. Sometimes we just have to be happy with "baby steps"! And if you think about it, addiction & recovery really is all about "baby steps". I will continue to pray for the both of you. I will pray that you remain strong & that your daughter "gets ready". I am here for you if you need me. Please try to remind yourself what a truely wonderful Mother you are. You have done your part & now its time for your daughter to do her part & i can only hope & pray that its sooner than later. I truely do know what its like to sit & wait for somebody you love to "get ready". Its heartbreaking, i've been through it & my heart just aches for you. Take care of yourself. And, never give up!